Shitty Movie Sundays: The Last Stand, or, Look! The New Chevys Are Out!

Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn’t starred in a movie in ten years, since Terminator 3. In The Last Stand, his first major foray onto the silver screen since he ended his time as governor of California, Arnold (normally I’d refer to a person by their last name in an article, but I’m not going to subject myself to typing out Arnold’s last name more than once) plays Ray Owens, the sheriff of a small border town in Arizona. He’s a former narcotics cop from the mean streets of Los Angeles, and the wistful gazes with which he paints his little town in the opening scenes are evidence that he prefers this life in small town America to the one he left behind in the LAPD. It’s either that, or Arnold was just thrilled to be back in a starring role. I can’t tell, but it’s easy to picture the film’s director, Kim Jee-Woon, instructing Arnold to express his real feelings of satisfaction at being back in the spotlight for these scenes, as getting Arnold to display any emotional range at all is more difficult than flying the space shuttle. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: The Last Stand, or, Look! The New Chevys Are Out!”

Where the Hell Have I Been?

It’s been almost two months since my last post, and in that time, shitty movies have gone unwatched, and political scandals have gone without rant here on Missile Test. So what have I been up to? I’m writing a book. This means I’ve had to sacrifice basically all of the time I used to dedicate to Missile Test and also to Daily Exhaust. I still have a full time job, and I’ve found that after about 1,000 words of book and 8 hours of work, I’m gassed. The good news is, my routine is pretty well set, and I’m chugging along toward my goal, the only distractions being my own failings. I’ll get some more posts up here soon. But, my Loyal Seven readers, don’t expect a busy summer.