Shitty Movie Sundays: The Bronx Executioner, or, Frankenstein’s Movie

This flick is some real bottom feeding trash. From Italian writer/director Vanio Amici (as Bob Collins), The Bronx Executioner is one of those bad movies that has zero redeeming qualities. It’s kin to innumerable 1980s Italian sci-fi disasters, but lacks just about all of the charm. In addition, over half of the footage used in the film, including that of some main characters, is lifted from another Italian b-movie from a few years earlier titled The Final Executioner. I’ve never seen that movie, but if I do, I’ll be sure to review it and copy/paste my thoughts into this post. As it is, the only reason I’m bothering with this review at all is because I dedicated time to watching this dog, and I have to get something out of it.

It’s the future, probably, and a future cop, James (Gabriele Gori), has just graduated from the academy. He receives further training from Sheriff Warren (Woody Strode), who is also known as ‘the black guy’ in this movie. Not kidding. What’s more, Strode didn’t film any scenes for this movie. His footage is part of that taken from The Final Executioner. Amici used a body double when Strode had to interact with Gori.

Meanwhile, there’s some muscly guy roaming the wasteland having gunfights with bad guys. He’s Dakar (Alex Vitale). I wasn’t sure if his scenes were fresh or recycled until later in the movie where he shares actual frames with Gori. Dakar is a cyborg, and he’s hunting another cyborg named Shark (Chuck Valenti), who I’m pretty sure is from the other movie.

There really isn’t any point in trying to make sense out of this movie. There was only the barest hint of a plot, which has to be an outgrowth of its cobbled together nature. I had an easier time following Foucault’s Pendulum. This bears all the signs of an unscrupulous movie producer trying to squeeze a few more lira out of his shitty movies. It would be nice if I could lay blame at someone’s feet, but no one is listed as this flick’s producer on IMDb, and Google only offered suggestions — not enough to make a declarative statement.

This is among the worst films I’ve ever seen. Even at 84 minutes, the runtime felt long. It has much of the look and feel of bad Italian sci-fi flicks that were much more entertaining. Maybe, just maybe, if a viewer is really into these types of films, and maybe if a viewer has exhausted all of Enzo G. Castellari’s flicks, this might be worth a watch. But for everyone else, wait until RiffTrax or the MST3K reboot gets around to it. I would rather watch Alien: Resurrection a hundred times before seeing The Bronx Executioner again.