Much Ado About MOAB

“U.S. forces in Afghanistan on Thursday struck an Islamic State tunnel complex in eastern Afghanistan with “the mother of all bombs,” the largest non-nuclear weapon ever used in combat by the U.S. military, Pentagon officials said.” — The Associated Press

“The Pentagon said U.S. military forces dropped the largest non-nuclear bomb in Afghanistan on Thursday.” — CNBC

Continue reading “Much Ado About MOAB”

Shitty Movie Sundays: xXx

Finally, a film for the energy drink generation.

What a putrid mess. In truth, the only reason I watched xXx at all is because I noticed that there were no films under ‘X’ in the Empty Balcony database. Every other letter in the English alphabet is represented, but in the many years I’ve been pounding out these reviews I’ve never once reviewed a film whose title began with the letter X. Now that I’ve seen xXx, I never have to watch it again. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: xXx”

Trumpland Day 84: Let’s Kill Some People!

Back in the wake of the election and the early days of the Turdpol Kakistocracy, a common theme in the media were warnings not to ‘normalize’ President Donald Trump. There is nothing normal or typical about a barely literate egomaniacal narcissist who lacks the temperament, consistency, gravitas, and intelligence to be president, yet who still finds himself the leader of the free world. The man is a huckster who has no competency for the job, and whose primary accomplishment as president so far has been stuffing the family coffers. Continue reading “Trumpland Day 84: Let’s Kill Some People!”

Shitty Movie Sundays: Steel Dawn

Other than being a shitty movie, Steel Dawn, the 1987 film from director Lance Hool and screenwriter Doug Lefler, defies normal categorization. At first glance, it’s just another cheesy post-apocalyptic sci-fi flick. Sure, it is that. But it’s also a kung fu flick, a samurai flick, and a spaghetti western. The filmmakers even managed to include a car chase, which is impressive considering the film takes place in a land with no electrical power or internal combustion engines. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Steel Dawn”

Cocksuckers Ball: Harvest Time

The United States Senate is headed towards an historic moment this week. The nomination of Judge Neil Gorsuch has gone to the floor for debate. As of right now, the Republicans do not have enough votes to impose cloture on the debate. It is expected that on Friday, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell will introduce a vote to change Senate rules to allow cloture to be passed with a simple majority, clearing the way for a floor vote on Gorsuch. By the time we all sit down for dinner on Friday evening, Gorsuch will be confirmed as the next Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, and the Senate will begin a new era — one that is leaving many pundits uneasy. Continue reading “Cocksuckers Ball: Harvest Time”

Empty Balcony: Night Moves

Be warned, this is a spoiler-heavy trailer.

Gene Hackman is still alive! As of this writing he is, anyway. Throughout his career, beginning with a bit role in something called Mad Dog Cole in 1961, to his final appearance in 2004’s Welcome to Mooseport, it was odd for a year to go by without multiple films featuring Hackman. But, after Mooseport, Hackman decided to retire. Too bad. Thank goodness, then, that Hackman plied his trade on the silver screen rather than on stage. His work is still available for all to see, including this little neo-noir flick that has slipped into some obscurity. Continue reading “Empty Balcony: Night Moves”

Shitty Movie Sundays: Mazes and Monsters

This isn’t the trailer. This is the climax. Go ahead and watch it. You will have missed nothing of consequence in the rest of the film.

I enjoy seeing movies from the early days of a star’s career. Not all stars were fortunate enough to burst onto the scene out of nowhere, but rather had to put in the low level, unglamorous grunt work that us normal people must endure when starting out. That’s how we got such historic performances from George Clooney in Return of the Killer Tomatoes, Kevin Bacon in Friday the 13th, and Jennifer Aniston in Leprechaun. Watching these films, there is no indication at all that these were future stars. I can now add another film to the Shitty Movie Sundays athenaeum featuring a then-unknown star. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Mazes and Monsters”

Cocksuckers Ball: Turnabout Is Fair Play

In all the news this week, including a late-breaking story from CNN last night that said, in their carefully chosen words, “The FBI has information that indicates associates of President Donald Trump communicated with suspected Russian operatives to possibly coordinate the release of information damaging to Hillary Clinton’s campaign,” it’s easy to forget that there were confirmation hearings for a Supreme Court nominee. Continue reading “Cocksuckers Ball: Turnabout Is Fair Play”