Once Again, Nothing

National gun control legislation is dead again. A month after a shooter massacred 17 students and faculty at Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland, Florida, it looks as if Congress will not be taking up any gun control bill, nor will the White House, currently preoccupied with blaming video games for the violence, be sending any measures, other than the insane idea of arming teachers, to Capitol Hill. For a time, there, it looked like this latest tragedy would be the one that finally led to action, but the GOP is nothing if not resilient when it comes to ignoring calls for action that go against the will of their paymasters. Continue reading “Once Again, Nothing”

The Sixth Annual Empty Balcony Awards for Movies I Saw from Last Year

It’s that time of the year again, when stars and dignitaries from the film industry gather in Hollywood to celebrate another year of being famous. The Academy Awards. It really is an exercise in stroking the egos of people who don’t need any further encouragement, but more importantly it gives us rankings. And if there’s anything we like in this country, it’s knowing who the winners and losers are. It’s not enough to just let a film be; to let it speak for itself. Nope. It must be judged. I’m on board with that. Welcome to the Empty Balcony Awards! Continue reading “The Sixth Annual Empty Balcony Awards for Movies I Saw from Last Year”

Empty Balcony: The 10th Victim

The swinging ’60s have come to Missile Test, in the form of Italian/French production The 10th Victim. An absurdist bit of film whimsy from Italian director Elio Petri, The 10th Victim is notable for providing much of the inspiration for Mike Myers’s character Austin Powers. Indeed, one of the great gags in the first Austin Powers film, a bikini top that shoots bullets, was lifted from this film. Continue reading “Empty Balcony: The 10th Victim”

Insane and Stupid

Here we are again. More children and teachers have been slaughtered in an American school. The death toll was horrific enough this time to get the gun control debate raging once more. At first blush, that sounds cynical, but remember that the shooting last week in Parkland, Florida, which claimed 17 lives, came less than a month after a 15-year-old student in Marshall County, Kentucky shot 16 people in the lobby of his high school, but only two of them died. That story was barely a blip in the news. Continue reading “Insane and Stupid”

Shitty Movie Sundays: Cosmos: War of the Planets, or, Shit Trek

Should one not wish to be burdened by a sensible, interconnected plot, or by special effects that pass a minimum standard of acceptability, then has Missile Test got the movie for you. Cosmos: War of the Planets, also known by many other names, is one of the shittiest films to grace this site in a litany of shitty films. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Cosmos: War of the Planets, or, Shit Trek”

Trumpster Fire Day 392: The Best People

The scandals surrounding the Turdpol Kakistocracy continue to mount every single day. In fact, there hasn’t been a moment in this scoundrel’s presidency when there haven’t been questions about its conduct swirling around. This week it’s a scandal over when the White House knew that one of its high-level employees was a wife beater who was vulnerable to blackmail, and an old (by that, I mean mere weeks) scandal resurfaced about hush money paid to a porn actress. Continue reading “Trumpster Fire Day 392: The Best People”

Empty Balcony: Wind River, or, Longmire: The Movie

Every year Hollywood releases a handful of thrillers that are well-made, good entertainment, but are fairly anonymous. They fill a market for solid mysteries. They can’t scratch the primal itch that makes big time action flicks so reliable at the box office, but they have the benefit of treating their audience like adults, which is nice. Wind River is one of those films. Continue reading “Empty Balcony: Wind River, or, Longmire: The Movie”