October Horrorshow: A Bucket of Blood

This year’s Horrorshow is nearing the end, and I could not let the month pass by without adding a Roger Corman flick to this list. It’s one of his best.

A Bucket of Blood, released in 1959, had a budget of $50,000, and a five-day shooting schedule. That type of swiftness and frugality was perfect for Corman, who never met a budget that was low enough to his liking. The first of Corman’s comedic collaborations with writer Charles B. Griffith, A Bucket of Blood is satire of the highest order. Its target are beatniks, a subculture which faded away decades ago. It features all the familiar targets of beatnik mockery. Berets, black turtlenecks, coffeeshops, poetry, folk guitar, heroin, pretentiousness. It’s that last part that made the beatniks such an easy target, and, in this film, a hilarious one. A typical line in the movie said by a swelled-headed beatnik was, “One of the greatest advances in modern poetry is the elimination of clarity.” That says it all about the artistes of this movie. Continue readingOctober Horrorshow: A Bucket of Blood”

October Horrorshow: Severance (2006)

A horror comedy would seem to be a contradiction in terms. However, horror fans aren’t watching horror because they like death. Well, most of us, anyway. Horror fans look for the same things from film as everyone else. Escapism. Specifically, the ability to experience places, people, and stories that we otherwise would not. Films evoke emotion, but do so in a way that exists outside of everyday life. Combining genres, especially in contradictory fashion, creates a delicacy of mixed emotions that we could never experience otherwise. In what other place than film could one experience the wonderful flavor profile of a humorous decapitation? Continue readingOctober Horrorshow: Severance (2006)”

It Came from the Camcorder: Redneck Zombies

According to Lloyd Kaufman, so some of it is probably true, Pericles Lewnes and George Scott wandered into the offices of Troma one day in the late 1980s with a finished movie they wanted Troma to distribute. Kaufman and his business partner Michael Herz agreed, on the condition that Lewnes take on unpaid work at Troma to work off the money Kaufman was sure this movie would lose for the company. And, thus, Redneck Zombies was unleashed upon the world.

Directed by Lewnes from a screenplay that has to be a pseudonym for either he or Scott, Fester Smellman, Redneck Zombies is one of the more ambitious efforts, gore-wise, that has been featured in It Came from the Camcorder. In tone, it fits right into the Troma stable, as Lewnes was very much a fan of their work. As the title implies, this movie is about zombies, who happen to be rednecks. Continue readingIt Came from the Camcorder: Redneck Zombies”

October Horrorshow: Deadtectives

Deadtectives movie posterHorror films don’t have to be all doom and gloom. In fact, a contender for the goriest film ever made, Braindead, also happens to be hilarious. There is plenty of room for black comedy in the genre. Yes, laughing at the blood and guts and death in a comedy horror is morbid, but no less so than watching a serious take on horror. All horror fans are a little bit diseased in that way.

Deadtectives is a comedy horror flick from 2018. It saw some play in a few film festivals, but otherwise has gone straight to streaming services. Written by Tony West and David Clayton Rogers, with West also directing, Deadtectives follows an eponymous ghost hunting television show that has to make a splash for the season finale, otherwise it faces cancellation. The show is hosted by brothers Sam and Lloyd (Chris Geere and David Newman), alongside psychic Javier (José María de Tavira). Sam’s wife, Kate (Tina Ivlev), serves as producer. The show is fake. All the shenanigans they film are the result of special effects, and the psychic is about as clairvoyant as a sock. Only Lloyd believes in ghosts, while the others treat him as something of an overenthusiastic dork. Continue readingOctober Horrorshow: Deadtectives”

Stallone Month: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot

Seriously, this is a trailer for an actual movie.

What a putrid movie. I was going to skip this movie for Stallone Month in favor of one of Sly’s straight action flicks. But, after I saw the trailer, I decided this movie had to be included. Missile Test has a jones for shitty movies, after all. And this might be the shittiest movie Sylvester Stallone has ever appeared in, including Death Race 2000. Continue readingStallone Month: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot”

Schwarzenegger Month: Jingle All the Way

I was not sure I would be able to get through this movie even before I began watching it. I try to wipe my mind of all preconceptions before viewing a movie, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out this is a squishy family movie. I do not like family flicks, and I’m not that much of a fan of Christmas movies, either. But, I like Schwarzenegger movies. What to do? Continue readingSchwarzenegger Month: Jingle All the Way”

Schwarzenegger Month: Junior

Sometimes, being typecast isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It was typecasting that brought audiences a decade of classic action films from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Breaking out of that mold brought more financial success, to be sure, but crossover Arnold never felt like the real thing. He felt sanitized for mass consumption. This is an oversimplification, of course, but the Arnold that was in Junior, the anonymous and final film he worked on with director Ivan Reitman, could not have been more out of place. Continue readingSchwarzenegger Month: Junior”

Schwarzenegger Month: Kindergarten Cop

Sometimes, the toughest thing when writing about film is being impartial. Not every film a reviewer watches fits into their tastes or what moves them, but that does not mean a film is bad, or that it can be simply dismissed. The immediate, visceral reaction that one has to a film is only one factor that must be considered in deciding whether or not it is any good. For me, personally, there is no greater film kryptonite than a family flick. Even when I was a kid I could barely tolerate a family flick. Anything that tries so hard to be inoffensive, that so consciously tries to remove any edge or soul that is has, that appeals to the softest parts of all of us, is a whitewashing of the human experience, a greater fantasy than anything with dragons and orcs in it. Nobody, and I mean nobody, smiles as much as the suburban American zombies that inhabit family films. I don’t know why the idea of wholesomeness enrages me so much, but it always has, and it always will. Continue readingSchwarzenegger Month: Kindergarten Cop”

Schwarzenegger Month: Twins

Arnold Schwarzenegger was a star before Ivan Reitman’s Twins was released in 1988, but of all the movies in Arnold’s filmography before this one, only Conan the Barbarian managed to crack a hundred million bucks at the box office, and quite a number didn’t make much cash at all. In fact, Arnold was being typecast, which is not necessarily a bad thing if that type is international action star. But it was with Twins that Arnold became a crossover star, much to the detriment of the moviegoing public, and myself, who will have to sit through some truly burdensome Arnold comedies this month. And it all began with Twins. Continue readingSchwarzenegger Month: Twins”

Schwarzenegger Month: Hercules in New York

For no reason other than that I feel like it, I hereby declare this to be Arnold Schwarzenegger month at Missile Test. His Arnoldness has 54 acting credits to his name on IMDb. I’m going to watch a whole boatload of them and write some reviews. I’m looking forward to hours upon hours of explosions, gunfights, and rough accents. The first flick has only one of those, but it depends on which print a viewer manages to see. Continue readingSchwarzenegger Month: Hercules in New York”