Trumpland Day 20: Rambling About the Turdpol

Let’s take some time to insult the President of the United States, for two reasons. One, this is the United States, and despite our many troubles as a nation, we have among the most robust free speech rights in the world. Two, Donald Trump has very thin skin. I don’t believe for a second that this little website will ever be read by Trump, but that won’t stop me from adding to the miasma of ridicule that Trump and his administration have earned. Continue readingTrumpland Day 20: Rambling About the Turdpol”

Missile Test Predicts! The 2016 Results

Holy fuck, America. We did it. We actually voted into the Oval Office a man who didn’t know, until he met with President Obama last week, that all the staffers in the West Wing are Democrats and will have to be replaced. We voted into office a man who hired, as his chief strategist, a white nationalist propagandist. We voted into office a man who, during the campaign, could be relied upon to disqualify himself from said office at least once a week, either through word or deed. But most importantly, America’s voting public went with most of my 2016 election gambling picks, thereby ensuring my Loyal Seven readers, who faithfully follow my advice, early and prosperous retirements. The results are below. My picks are first, with the winner in bold. Continue reading “Missile Test Predicts! The 2016 Results”

Missile Test Predicts! 2016 Degenerate Gambler Edition

The Oval Office Thunderdome desk hasn’t been all that busy this election cycle, but that certainly isn’t because of a lack of subject matter. This election has been among the most anguished in all of American history. Much of the electorate is in disbelief that someone with as many disqualifications for public office still has a shot at winning the Oval Office. Continue reading “Missile Test Predicts! 2016 Degenerate Gambler Edition”

Oval Office Thunderdome: What a Bunch of Cowards

There was yet another Republican presidential debate last night. These debates are finally human-sized, the number of candidates having been whittled down to just four. Joining the frontrunner, Donald Trump, on stage were Senators Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, and Governor Ted Kasich. Continue readingOval Office Thunderdome: What a Bunch of Cowards”

Cocksuckers Ball: Elections Have Consequences

Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States Antonin Scalia is dead. When the San Antonio Express-News broke the story of Scalia’s death this past Saturday, it was met with a certain amount of macabre glee only by those on the left who could afford to be seen celebrating. That is, those whose greatest contributions to the debate are tweets or comments on reddit. Most policymakers and pundits praised Scalia’s intellect and keen legal mind, while expressing sympathy for his family. It was an appropriate and typical set of reactions from the politicians who represent liberal America. Continue readingCocksuckers Ball: Elections Have Consequences”

Oval Office Thunderdome: George Pataki Has a Shot

Former Governor of New York George Pataki has announced that he is running for the 2016 Republican nomination for president. He joins a pretty crowded field (the Wikipedia page on the GOP candidates is fascinating). His name recognition isn’t great, and it’s been nine years since he last held public office. At first glance, there isn’t a lot to separate Pataki from all the other candidates whose polling hovers in the low single digits. But there is one big thing. He’s not an arch conservative. He hasn’t spent the entire Obama administration blasting anything and everything the president has done, nor has he spent much time pandering to the nut job base of the Republican Party. He hasn’t pegged gay marriage to natural disasters, called the Constitution the word of God, or questioned whether or not the military is going to invade Texas. In short, he doesn’t have nearly as much baggage as someone like Ted Cruz or Mike Huckabee. Continue readingOval Office Thunderdome: George Pataki Has a Shot”

Cocksuckers Ball: Jackasses Lose The House

It’s just past 9:30 PM here on the east coast, and both NBC and Fox are calling the House of Representatives for the Republicans. Polls are still open on the west coast, and hundreds of races have yet to be decided, but the counts which are in, combined with exit polling, have been enough for two networks to call it. Predicting the House for the GOP isn’t a reach, however. All indications for months have pointed to a GOP takeover of the House as a foregone conclusion. No surprises from the exit polling like in 2004. Continue readingCocksuckers Ball: Jackasses Lose The House”