The Empty Balcony: American Hustle

Five minutes into American Hustle, I realized I probably was not going to like the film. I stuck around for the next two hours, but the film never grabbed me. It has been praised by critics, but I consider myself kin to the many other viewers who left the film feeling apathetic. Us emotionless millions, unmoved by a film with such heavyweights, such ACTING — we are legion. Continue readingThe Empty Balcony: American Hustle”

Shitty Movie Sundays: Doggie B

[Normally, I’d have a trailer for a movie here. Not this time. You want to see a trailer for Doggie B, you find it without my help.]


Netflix continues to impress me with its selection of terrible movies to stream. Thanks to an unsustainable subscription model, the site is packed full with the dregs of Hollywood. Once, many years ago, I gave the local ABC affiliate here in New York shit for purchasing cheap movies to show late at night. Well, whoever that poor programming director happened to be at the time, I have to apologize. You brought me such gems as The Hillz and Theodore Rex, but as bad as those movies are, they are Oscar contenders compared to Doggie B.

Continue readingShitty Movie Sundays: Doggie B”

The Cross

Come on, atheists. You’re protesting a cross in the 9/11 Museum? I know you don’t believe God can hear you, but you realize the rest of us can, right?

— Stephen Colbert in his opening routine, March 10th

Colbert had some fun at the expense of David Silverman and American Atheists, the non-profit Silverman runs. American Atheists filed a lawsuit to have a steel cross that was cut from the wreckage at Ground Zero removed from the memorial on site. The lawsuit stems from the fact that the site is public property owned by the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, and the memorial receives public funding. The case is hardly cut and dry, though. If it were, there would be little argument. The cross has no business in a public facility, as its mere presence is an endorsement of religion. There are plans for the site to include other religious symbols, as well, but none on the scale and prominence of the cross. Continue reading “The Cross”

The Shitty Movie Sundays Awards

The Academy Awards were last night. But more importantly, I handed out the Second Annual Empty Balcony Awards for Movies I Saw From Last Year. Those awards are self-explanatory, but a quick rundown is in order. I did not see all the films that were nominated for Oscars. In fact, I only saw a handful, so there’s no way I could offer an honest opinion on the winners and losers. For example, the top categories are best picture, director, the acting categories, and the two screenplay categories. Of all the winners, the only film from last year that I saw was Gravity, for which Alfonso Cuarón won best director. So, I made my own awards. Cuarón didn’t win best director in my awards, but he was nominated, so that’s an honor, I guess. Continue reading “The Shitty Movie Sundays Awards”

The Second Annual Empty Balcony Awards for Movies I Saw From Last Year

When the Oscars aired last year, I was surprised to find that I had not (at the time) seen a single film that was nominated in any of the top categories. Because of that, I felt I couldn’t offer an opinion on how the awards were dished out, nor participate in Oscar night fun. But, I had seen quite a number of movies from the previous year, and I wanted to weigh in on some level. And lo, the Empty Balcony Awards were born. Continue reading “The Second Annual Empty Balcony Awards for Movies I Saw From Last Year”