Shitty Movie Sundays: Alien Sniperess

The internet is a ruthless killer. Its convenience has strangled retail, shoved a dagger through the heart of newspapers, put a bullet through the brain of the recording industry…et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. The internet has even done a number on the movie business. Hollywood spent a long time consolidating releases into megaplexes, crowding out older theaters and independent distributors in the process. The megaplex killed both the drive-in, and its greatest contributor, regional cinema.

But, lo and behold, it is the internet, normally such a destructive force for prior forms of business, that has saved regional cinema. It’s possible now to shoot a movie digitally and get it onto a streaming platform, bypassing big Hollywood gatekeeping. Low budget b-filmmakers from the furthest reaches of the country are back, just like when they were polluting drive-in and grindhouse screens back in the 20th century. Which brings us to Alien Sniperess. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Alien Sniperess”

Shitty Movie Sundays: Body Count (1995), aka Codename: Silencer

What a strange buddy cop flick. From a story by David A. Prior (screenplay by Henry Madden), and produced by David Winters, two of the founders of Action International Pictures, one of Shitty Movie Sundays’ favorite production companies, Body Count is a collaboration with Toei, one of the giants of Japanese cinema. The film even features one of Japan’s biggest movie stars, Sonny Chiba, as the villain. I don’t know what the suits in Japan were expecting, but I have a feeling it wasn’t a direct-to-video b-action flick where one of the most bankable stars in Japan’s history plays the bad guy opposite a pair of character actors in rare starring roles. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Body Count (1995), aka Codename: Silencer”

Shitty Movie Sundays: Larceny (2017)

Dolph Lundgren is a Shitty Movie Sundays All-Star. Hardly a year has gone by since the 1980s when he hasn’t starred or featured prominently in multiple b-action or sci-fi flicks. His most notable hiatus was 2020, when he was busy battling terminal cancer that was first diagnosed in 2015. The man is a worker, and the shitty movie fan’s experience is better for it. Oh, by the way, he’s cancer free as of 2023.

Larceny, a joint Mexican-American production from 2017, fits right into this difficult era in his oeuvre. He looks aged, is definitely slow, and has a hard time carrying an action scene. We at Missile Test were unaware of his health issues, attributing the decline in his athleticism to mere aging. Well, let us eat some crow. Any shit we’ve given him for mailing it in for the last nine years is unjustified. Anyway… Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Larceny (2017)”

Shitty Movie Sundays: The Concrete Jungle (1982)

Women in prison flicks are among the sleaziest exploitation movies that cinema has to offer, possibly exceeded only by Naziploitation and nunsploitation. Women in prison flicks are all about the subjugation and humiliation of women, both through loss of personal freedom and sexual violence. There are only passing moments of redemption for this subgenre, as the victimized protagonist usually gets a small amount of justice at the end, but that’s only window dressing.

This is Shitty Movie Sundays, where every shitty movie, even ones that are badly dated, get a showing. It’s a fruitless endeavor to try and impose the morals of today on the past, so Missile Test says go ahead and watch the sleaziest of the sleaze, and feel free to ignore that twinge of guilt one feels when they find they actually enjoy it. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: The Concrete Jungle (1982)”

Shitty Movie Sundays: Country Blue, aka On the Run

Filmmaker Jack Conrad has one of the most ruthlessly efficient filmographies one will see on IMDb. He has some unremarkable work editing and assisting a director, and then BAM! All of a sudden, in 1973, he’s writing, producing, directing, editing, and starring in Country Blue. Then it’s back into anonymity until he produced The Howling in 1980. Fin! He hasn’t been heard from since. Conrad went from being an auteur, to producing one of the most iconic horror flicks of the 1980s, and that’s it. There have been shorter film careers featured in Shitty Movie Sundays, but Conrad got a lot out of his cup of coffee. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Country Blue, aka On the Run”

Shitty Movie Sundays: Savage Hunt, aka Condor’s Run

Savage Hunt VHS boxOnce upon a time, sunny Greece, one of the jewels of the Mediterranean, and the historical home of critical thinking, was ruled by a military junta. From 1967 to 1974, Greece was not a free country, its citizens politically isolated from the emerging European Union. That all ended when, after a number of disastrous mistakes both domestically and internationally, the Regime of the Colonels was overthrown. This left an indelible mark on Greece, and gave low rent Italian filmmaker Romano Scavolini an idea for a story.

George Ayer stars as Adam, a professional photographer from the United States, who is carrying on an affair with Irene (Mary Hronopoulou), an aging lounge singer with a tobacco-forged voice. She is the toast of the Athens social scene, taking Adam around to fetes attended by all the big luminaries. She even has him take their pictures…with her camera. Unbeknownst to Adam, he’s being used. The same roll of film with all those VIP pictures also includes photos taken at a torture session, where those same VIPs, along with some American embassy staff and CIA agents, watched while a dissident had very bad things done to him. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Savage Hunt, aka Condor’s Run”