If one is going to make a shitty movie, don’t be a burden on the audience. Get in and get out before people start getting bored. Running time can often be the difference between an amusing jaunt through the world of substandard cinema and a hateful experience. In general: the shorter the better. Other filmmakers should take a lesson from writer/director Curt Siodmak. He went to the extreme with his 1951 flick, Bride of the Gorilla. It tests that general rule about running time, for Siodmak and company brought this sucker in at an astounding 66 minutes. That’s a long episode of Game of Thrones, not a feature film. Yet, I watched the damn thing, and it did indeed pass in little over an hour. And, believe it or not, that was all the time it needed. This is a shitty movie, without any doubt, but Siodmak did make a tidy little package. Continue reading “It Came from the ’50s: Bride of the Gorilla”
Some of Those Responsible: Woody Strode
Shitty Movie Sundays: The Bronx Executioner, aka Il giustiziere del Bronx, or, Frankenstein’s Movie
This flick is some real bottom feeding trash. From Italian writer/director Vanio Amici (as Bob Collins), The Bronx Executioner is one of those bad movies that has zero redeeming qualities. It’s kin to innumerable 1980s Italian sci-fi disasters, but lacks just about all of the charm. In addition, over half of the footage used in the film, including that of some main characters, is lifted from another Italian b-movie from a few years earlier titled The Final Executioner. I’ve never seen that movie, but if I do, I’ll be sure to review it and copy/paste my thoughts into this post. As it is, the only reason I’m bothering with this review at all is because I dedicated time to watching this dog, and I have to get something out of it. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: The Bronx Executioner, aka Il giustiziere del Bronx, or, Frankenstein’s Movie”
October Horrorshow: Kingdom of the Spiders
I have a mental list of things I would do if I could go back in time. The standard stuff is there. Kill Hitler, catch a live performance of Beethoven’s Ninth with the composer himself conducting, etc. But those are representative of my more grandiose schemes. Far down the list is finding some way to weasel into the movie industry, and direct a film starring William Shatner in the 1970s. It’s a fleeting obsession, really, and was conceived only after watching Shatner’s star turn in Kingdom of the Spiders, from 1977. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Kingdom of the Spiders”