Shitty Movie Sundays: Armed Response (2017)

Saban Films is a clearing house for crap. I have yet to see anything bearing the Haim Saban imprimatur that wasn’t total garbage. From distributing low-rent Japanese television imports Dragon Quest and Power Rangers decades ago, to spreading Dolph Lundgren films the world over, Saban continues its quest to bore viewers to death. Such is the case with Armed Response, whose production companies include WWE Studios. Sometimes, viewers can know what they’re in for before all the pretentious opening logos have flashed past. Continue readingShitty Movie Sundays: Armed Response (2017)”

October Horrorshow: Barricade

Barricade movie posterNever judge a book by its cover. Or, in this case, never judge a movie by its production company, unless it’s a movie by The Asylum. Barricade, written by Michaelbrent Collings, and directed by Andrew Currie, is a case in point. Right there in the opening credits, there it is: the logo for the WWE, Vince McMahon’s wrestling entertainment behemoth. Barricade is one of the growing stable of films released by WWE Studios, the Hollywood offshoot of the parent company. This company is responsible for such films as The Marine and See No Evil, both featuring WWE wrestlers in starring roles. Looking at their IMDb page, one of their upcoming, straight to video releases, will be Jingle All the Way 2. Oh, horror. On paper, Barricade doesn’t look all that promising. But, as any sports fan can tell a viewer, how a team looks on paper can differ substantially from what happens when the games are played.

Barricade follows Terrence Shade (Eric McCormack) and his two children, Cynthia and Jake (Conner Dwelly and Ryan Grantham), as they try to celebrate Christmas following the tragic death of their mother. Mom had some big plans for Christmas, wanting the family to spend the holidays at a cabin in the woods. Now that she’s dead, Terrence decides to carry out his wife’s wishes, and the deeply wounded family is off to the wilderness. Terrence is fairly strung out, chasing Scotch whisky with Xanax while his kids are in the room. That is some self-destructive behavior. There is no other way to put it. It can also lead to blackouts, from which Terrence begins to suffer. This is especially bad out in the woods, as it appears something...is out there, wanting to get in to the house. Continue readingOctober Horrorshow: Barricade”