Tag: Direct-to-Video Flick

The Screaming

Cheap, irreverent, gory, and gloriously stupid. If there are four descriptors essential to a successful SOV horror flick, those are it. Prolific shitty movie writer/director/producer Jeff Leroy’s 2000 flick, The Screaming, has all of those, in decent proportion. Although, I don’t think it would have hurt matters any to have a bit more gratuitous nudity. But, that’s a personal preference.

The Screaming stars Vinnie Bilancio (who also has a producer and production design credit) as Bob Martin, a Marlboro enthusiast and graduate student in anthropology at an unnamed southern California university (the university was played by CSU, Long Beach). Like many graduate students, Bob is flat broke, and thus has to take the cheapest off-campus housing he can find. In this case, it’s a single room in the back of a house owned by blonde bombshell Crystal (Wendi Winburn). Continue reading “The Screaming”

Cards of Death

It’s not uncommon in the world of SOV horror to discover that the movie one is watching was not released until many, many years had passed from its production. In general, these are bargain-basement movies, the final result of which may leave its makers and distributors leery of release. In other words, sometimes a movie is such shit that it gets stuck on a shelf and all-but forgotten about. Such is the case with Cards of Death, which sat unreleased for 28 years before Mondo Video dug it up. From 1986, Cards of Death is a horror/thriller from veteran Burbank actor Will MacMillan. Taking his first stab at writing and directing, MacMillan crafted a very bad, but also quite watchable, shitty movie from little more than videotape and breasts. Continue reading “Cards of Death”

Sledgehammer

David A. Prior had a dream. He wanted to be a Hollywood screenwriter. According to the internet, so it must be true, Prior decided to help that dream along by making a shot-on-video horror flick that he hoped would demonstrate his potential as an employable screenwriter. And, you know what? It didn’t work! Instead, his movie was a springboard to a career as a screenwriter, AND a director, AND a producer. This was the first, and only, movie that Prior shot on videotape. After this flick, he hit the b-movie big time, shooting on 35mm film and working with production budgets in the six figures. Continue reading “Sledgehammer”

Things

Things 1989 VHS boxIn doing research for this year’s Horrorshow, I’ve found that many flicks featured on SOV horror lists on the tubes are not, in fact, shot on videotape. Usually, they are movies that were made for the home video market, never intended for theatrical release, but were shot on cheap film stock. Such is the case with Things, the 1989 flick from producers and writers Barry J. Gillis and Andrew Jordan, with direction by Jordan. It was transferred to video for release, but was shot for the most part on super 8.

I can’t mince words. Things is a contender for worst movie ever made. Everything about the film is the lowest of low rent. Color, lighting, dialogue, plot, acting, special effects, music — it all lives in the darkest, deepest levels of incompetence. Yet, it is not a film hostile to viewers. It has a charm that’s lacking in something like Birdemic. This is an inept film made by earnest filmmakers. While it is bad, it is also worth appreciating the hard work from those involved. They gave us something to be laughed at and mocked, yes, but the enjoyment of a bad movie is not all schadenfreude.

The film follows three men, in what was probably Andrew Jordan’s apartment at the time of filming, as they drink lots of beer, wander around the house a bit, and occasionally fight off the be-teethed things of the title. Where did the things come from? Doug (Doug Bunston) and his wife, Susan (Patricia Sadler) have been trying for a baby, and enlist the services of Dr. Lucas (Jan W. Pachul). Rather than deliver a healthy baby, the things claw their way out of her abdomen and go on a tear through the home. Continue reading “Things”

Psycho Pike

From our friends and neighbors in the Great White North comes Psycho Pike, the 1992 SOV eco-horror/ black comedy flick featuring a mutated fish capable of decapitating unwary anglers.

Brought to life by writer and director Chris Poschun, Psycho Pike follows four college students who travel to remote Lake Shippagew somewhere in the wilds north of Toronto for a weekend getaway. They are: couple Tim and Dara (Wayne McNamara and Sarah Campbell) and couple Reg and Rhonda (Douglas Kidd and Dawn Kelly). To add some personal drama, Tim and Reg are best friends, and Rhonda used to be Tim’s steady girlfriend, breaking up with him so she could hook up with Reg. That drama isn’t necessary to the plot, but something had to fill the spaces between the killer fish doing its thing, and infidelity is as good a device as any other. Continue reading “Psycho Pike”

Blood Lake (1987)

Pro-tip for all you aspiring amateur filmmakers out there that are contemplating shooting an independent, low-budget horror flick on your phones: don’t short your viewers on the gore.

I’m not saying that one has to make an anatomically-correct splatter fountain like Violent Shit, but the hardest of these SOV horror flicks to watch for this year’s Horrorshow have been the movies devoid of spectacle. If there’s one thing that all these films have in common so far, its problems with their pacing. Whether it’s inexperienced storytelling or a thin screenplay, it takes an experienced shitty movie viewer to not be bored to death by these movies. That makes gore an essential element of their watchability, because it’s the most reliable way to get the audience to pay attention. Continue reading “Blood Lake (1987)”

Truth or Dare?, aka Truth or Dare?: A Critical Madness

If one goes poking around the internet looking for an SOV horror flick to watch, one will likely find Truth or Dare?, Tim Ritter’s 1986 feature, on many lists. But, this flick was not shot on video. It was shot on 16mm film, and then transferred to video for release. As such, I’m not including it amongst the SOV horror reviews. However, it is a treat to see Ritter, who was only 18-years-old at the time of filming, work on his storytelling chops.

Ritter wrote and directed Truth or Dare?, but on the initial VHS release back in the 1980s, directing credit went to the film’s producer, Yale Wilson. As best I can gather, this was Ritter’s pseudonym. Continue reading “Truth or Dare?, aka Truth or Dare?: A Critical Madness”

Violent Shit

Violent Shit VHS boxThere have been some movies featured on Missile Test that have not lived up to their title, or that have had titles that are outright deceptive (I’m looking at you, Chain Gang Women). No worries with Violent Shit. The title promises violent shit, and that’s just what viewers will get. In fact, the title undersells what’s in the movie.

Hailing from West Germany, Violent Shit sprang forth from the mind of writer, director, producer, and special effects technician Andreas Schnaas. In his early twenties at the time of filming, Schnaas roped in his friends for a few weekends of shooting in and around Hamburg in 1989. The result is a bloody disgusting SOV horror flick that never would have made it past the traditional censors. The gore in this movie is not that realistic, but it contains imagery that’s nasty enough to make one’s stomach turn. For instance, one of the first victims in this film has his penis cut off in graphic fashion, and I rank that as the third-most disturbing moment in the film. One of the characters had a death that is right up there with the real-life killing of Mary Jane Kelly at the hands of Jack the Ripper. (Read the description of her post-mortem to get an idea of how this scene plays out.) Continue reading “Violent Shit”

Night’s End

It’s tough watching a movie lose it in the final act. Whereas a film that shows little promise at the start, but then builds and builds to something special at the end, is always a pleasant surprise, a film that stumbles to the finish after a strong start can’t help but be a disappointment. Much hard work, good acting, and fine storytelling is, if not wasted by a poor ending, at least squandered somewhat. I can’t say that Jennifer Reeder and company should have just packed it all in if this was the best ending they could come up with, but I would like to see what they could have done given another chance, and maybe a couple extra bucks in the effects budget. Continue reading “Night’s End”

Vampires and Other Stereotypes

It was only a matter of time before The October Horrorshow XIV: It Came from the Camcorder, would feature a movie that is a struggle to get through. By design, this month of reviews features movies that never approach the minimum standards for theatrical release. SOV horror is about as outside the mainstream of film as one can get, without delving into some really dark places. There are no Citizen Kanes, here.

Up to this point, SOV horror has been a pleasant surprise. The filmmakers I have watched have been free to tell the stories they want, without the watchful eye of the censor. It is beneficial for SOV horror when these movies do things their better-financed brethren would never try. And that’s what makes Vampires and Other Stereotypes, from writer, director, producer, and editor Kevin J. Lindenmuth, something of a disappointment. There he was, unshackled from the constraints of acceptable content, and he didn’t seize that opportunity. They can’t all be shitty gold. Continue reading “Vampires and Other Stereotypes”