Gory Flick – Missile Test

Talk to Me

When it comes to using gimmicks, horror flicks do it best. It’s the genre most receptive to one’s wildest ‘what if’ ideas. Talk to Me, the debut feature from filmmakers Danny and Michael Philippou, has a great gimmick. It’s a funhouse treat, even.

In Talk to Me there is a talisman. In this case, a hand cut from the corpse of a spirit medium, preserved, and coated with plaster. It still holds power, though. Should someone grasp the hand and say, “Talk to me,” a ghost will appear before them, ready to have a conversation. Should the person say, “I let you in,” then the ghost possesses the person’s body and communicates through them. Should the possession last longer than ninety seconds, the possessee risks getting kicked out of their own body, and sent to whatever nightmare limbo these spirits came from, toy to their every whim and evil intent. The hand, then, is a dangerous object, and one to be used with care by people who understand the risks. That’s also what makes it an awesome teenage party game! Continue reading “Talk to Me”

The Yeti

The yeti is a cryptozoologic creature that inhabits the Himalayan mountain range. According to the internet, so it must be true, the term ‘yeti’ derives from the Tibetan words for ‘rocky place’ and ‘bear.’ Various sizes are given for the beasts, ranging from just a few feet tall to over fifteen feet. The western term for yeti is ‘abominable snowman,’ first coined by Charles Howard-Bury in his book Mount Everest The Reconnaissance, 1921. He didn’t see a yeti, but he saw tracks in the snow at an elevation of 21,000 feet that Sherpas along on the expedition said were ‘metoh-kangmi,’ which translates as ‘man-bear snowman.’ Don’t be too impressed with this research. I took it from Wikipedia. Anyway… Continue reading “The Yeti”

Turistas

Twenty-somethings ending up somewhere bad while traveling. It’s a trope as old, at least, as The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and it’s a trope that just keeps on giving. Why not? We’re a traveling people. Seeing new things and meeting strangers is what we do during those occasions when we are able to toss off the shackles. Some of us have even been in sketchy situations far from home. Some have been robbed or worse. Who knows? Maybe some of us have been closer to never coming home than we ever knew.

From 2006 comes Turistas, written by Michael Arlen Ross and directed by John Stockwell, whom horror fans might remember for his portrayal of Dennis in Christine. Turistas follows western tourists in Brazil, and the trouble in which they find themselves. The film opens with a harrowing bus ride through the jungle that introduces us to the hapless protagonists. There is Alex (Josh Duhamel); his sister, Bea (Olivia Wilde); her friend, Amy (Beau Garrett); mates from England Finn and Liam (Desmond Askew and Max Brown); and experienced world traveler, Pru (Melissa George). Continue reading “Turistas”

Evil Dead (2013)

Is Evil Dead, the 2013 film from Fede Alvarez, a remake or a sequel? It looks a lot like a remake, but, years after release, Alvarez confirmed in a tweet that, “[Evil Dead] continues the first one.” Case closed. This flick is not a remake. I guess the original was just so good they had to make it twice, or thrice, for that matter.

Working from a screenplay he wrote with Rodo Sayagues, Alvarez made a horror flick that reportedly used tens of thousands of gallons of fake blood. If that’s not an intrinsic endorsement, I don’t know what is.

The movie follows five twenty-somethings who think they’re doing the right thing, but pick the worst place in the world for it. Continue reading “Evil Dead (2013)”

Midsommar

Ari Aster made one of the most dread-inducing horror flicks I’ve ever seen in Hereditary. That movie can be a very dark, and very uncomfortable watch. How nice that he followed that up with a movie about a midsummer celebration in Sweden. No darkness at all. Bright. Sunny. Hopeful. Yeah, sure.

One of the toughest things about Hereditary was its depiction of grief. It permeated the film, and that’s also how things begin in Midsommar. Dani (Florence Pugh) goes through a terrible personal trauma. Her sister kills her parents and then herself. Welcome to the movie. If this is going to be anything like Hereditary, one is in for a tough time. But, a despairing exploration of grief is not in the cards for this flick, thank goodness. Continue reading “Midsommar”

Obsession

Boy, did this movie make a splash at the box office. One of three movies in wide release this past year that upended industry conventions about horror (the others being Backrooms and Iron Lung), Obsession pulled in over 500 million bucks against a budget of around three-quarters of a million. Those kinds of numbers make the suits take notice. It’s not the first time something like this has happened. In the late 1990s it was The Blair Witch Project that thumbed its nose at Hollywood, and in the next decade Paranormal Activity did it again. Every so often the industry gets a reminder that bigger isn’t better, and that they don’t have sole license on what people are allowed to like. What’s unique is that three movies did this in the same year. But, Missile Test doesn’t give a damn about numbers and return on investment. What we appreciate is that an independent filmmaker was able to make their movie, and get it seen. Continue reading “Obsession”

Female Mercenaries on Zombie Island

Female Mercenaries on Zombie Island VHS box Part shot-on-video horror, part fetish movie, one will be hard-pressed to see a more nonsensical, cheap, shameless, and proud bit of sleaze outside the porn industry, unless one is watching any of the other dozens of flicks from moviemaker Gary Whitson and W.A.V.E. Productions. What is W.A.V.E.? Why, only the finest film production company in all of New Jersey. W.A.V.E. is a bit difficult to explain, so here is a trailer for a documentary about them that sums it up well.

As mentioned in that trailer, W.A.V.E. movies defy criticism. They are what they are. I agree, but only to a certain extent. When judged objectively, against every other movie I’ve ever seen, I can write with simple clarity that Female Mercenaries on Zombie Island is a bad movie. It stinks. It’s awful. It’s a true bottom feeder cinematic experience. And it was never meant to be anything else. Should anyone care enough to do so, it would make for a wonderful case study into the psychological reasons behind why some people, those here at Missile Test included, like watching bad movies. I’ve never thought about the ‘why’ too deeply. I’m too busy enjoying myself. That lack of self-analysis is critical to enjoying this movie. It’s so bad that you can’t stop to think about it or it might provoke a personal crisis. Continue reading “Female Mercenaries on Zombie Island”

The Demon’s Rook

Had The Demon’s Rook been made in the 1980s or 1990s, it would have been shot on videotape. This is very much kin to the kinds of movies the Polonia brothers or Andreas Schnaas were making back then. All the bona fides are there. It was the passion project of an aspiring filmmaker and an amateur cast and crew. It’s very bloody and gory, yet the effects are inexpensive. And it took a long time to shoot, with this particular flick eating up weekends for two years, if the internet is to be believed.

Released in 2013, the driving force of The Demon’s Rook is filmmaker James Sizemore, who wrote (with Akom Tidwell), produced (with Tim Reis), directed, and starred. Reis contributed further as editor and cinematographer. The Demon’s Rook tells the story of Roscoe (Sizemore), who, when he was a young boy (played by Emmett Eckert), was recruited by a demon, Dimwos (John Chatham), to become an apprentice in demonic magic. The price is high, as Roscoe not only has to abandon his life, but his parents become blood sacrifices, and Roscoe is held prisoner well into his adulthood in a separate dimension. Continue reading “The Demon’s Rook”

Phantom Brother

The first line in my notes for Phantom Brother, the 1988 shot-on-video (SOV) horror flick from screenwriter Joseph Santi and director William Szarka reads, “Well, it’s trash.” That may be harsh, but my movie notes are written in the heat of the moment, without considering the trials and tribulations of the filmmaking process. Of course, like so many other low budget projects, Phantom Brother is a movie made despite the mountain of barriers that had to be overcome. It is a movie of passion, persistence, and…it’s trash. I’m glad it got made, but this is an obscure movie for a reason. Many reasons, in fact. Continue reading “Phantom Brother”

Terrifier

As of this writing, Terrifier, the 2016 gorefest from filmmaker Damien Leone, has a critics/audience rating of 63% and 51% on Rotten Tomatoes. This flick is polarizing, and it really turned some people off.

A spinoff of a segment from Leone’s horror anthology film All Hallow’s Eve, Terrifier follows Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton), a mass murderer who sets his sights on a pair of young women who are wrapping up a night out on the town during Halloween.

Tara and Dawn (Jenna Kanell and Catherine Corcoran) are regular, everyday urban twenty-somethings who just want to drive home, but need to sober up a bit before one of them gets behind the wheel. It’s too bad for them, then, that Art the Clown happens to be out and about looking for some victims. Halloween is the perfect night for Art, as his creepy regalia isn’t out of place, although it garners a lot of side-eye. Continue reading “Terrifier”