Supernatural Flick – Missile Test

October Horrorshow: Timesweep

Timesweep movie poster Someone out there, somewhere, owns the rights to Timesweep, the 1987 magnum opus from writer/director Dan Diefenderfer (screenplay credits were shared with Larry Nordsieck and John Thonen). As of this writing, Timesweep is nowhere to be found on streaming services, outside of the nooks and crannies where someone has uploaded an old VHS transfer. For shame. This movie is right up Tubi’s alley, and I’m sure whoever owns the rights could use the extra fifty bucks. Anyway…

Timesweep tells the tale of a bunch of mild-mannered 30-something Midwesterners who find themselves trapped in an abandoned building that is hopping through time. Monsters, aliens, zombies, a crazed hermit, killer bugs, and more abound, providing the audience with a surprising amount of gore for so moribund a budget.

The building in question is an old film studio that is slated for demolition. An architecture professor, Vincent Hill (Kevin Brief), a film professor, H.G. Lewis (Frank Vrooman), and students have gathered to explore the old edifice before it’s gone forever. Joining them is a local news anchor covering the story, Angela Markell (Denise Gray), and cameraman Mike Romero (Michael Cornelison). Mike is the rebel of the movie. One can tell because he shows up two minutes late, and he’s rocking a beige jacket. Yeah, there were some wild folks in Kansas City, Missouri in the 1980s. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Timesweep”

October Horrorshow: 976-EVIL

The 1980s remain my favorite decade for horror flicks. In general, that decade had a much lighter take on the genre than the 1970s, despite all the splatter. In the ’70s, the aim of horror auteurs was to disturb, or to inspire dread. Take the career of Wes Craven, for example. His two most provocative films of the ’70s were The Last House on the Left and The Hills Have Eyes. Both use rape as a plot device, and both rely far more on dread than fear. Then, in the ’80s, Craven launched the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, which embraced a fun house atmosphere, embodied in antagonist Freddy Krueger. And I do mean fun house. Freddy, with his razor glove, the facial scarring, and the exaggerated sweater and hat, is a horror movie clown. Jason Voorhees, over in the Friday the 13th franchise, is a horror movie clown. Chucky, from Child’s Play, is a horror movie clown. Et cetera, et cetera. The ’80s were awash in blood, but the tone is far different than what came before. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: 976-EVIL”

October Horrorshow: Sinister

So, what is a washed up true crime writer supposed to do when it’s been years since the last bestseller, the previous two books were poorly researched and poorly received, bills keep piling up, and the wife uses the threat of leaving and taking the kids with her as a cudgel? Well, in 2025, this would never be a problem, as this film’s protagonist, Ellison Oswalt (Ethan Hawke), would already be on season three or four of his true crime podcast. But, back in the distant days of 2012, when this film was released, Ellison would have packed up his family, moved them into a house where an appalling mass murder occurred, and tried to bang out a new career and family-saving hit. That’s the premise behind Sinister, from director Scott Derrickson, and written by Derrickson and C. Robert Cargill. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Sinister”

October Horrorshow: Venus

Lucía (Ester Expósito) is having a bad day. A platform dancer at a shady nightclub, Lucía decides the best plan for her life is to steal a gigantic stash of ecstasy pills from the club’s gangster owners and sell it. But, on her way out the door, one of the bouncers/mob muscle, Moro (Fernando Valdivielso), catches her in the act. Lucía escapes, but not before Moro bruises up her face and stabs her in the leg. Her plan ruined, Lucía does what so many others do when in a serious jam: she leans on family.

Rocío (Ángela Cremonte), Lucía’s sister, has problems of her own. A single mother, she is raising young Alba (Inés Fernández) in a decrepit tower block named Edificio Venus that has been bleeding tenants for years. Tragedy after tragedy haunts the Venus’s past, and Rocío has had enough. One last night of pounding sounds coming from the ceiling has convinced her, unlike the protagonists of just about every horror movie ever made, that it’s time to get out of the danger early. Just as she and Alba are packed and in the corridor on their way to safety, the elevator opens and there is the bloodied and exhausted Lucía. That’s the setup for director Jaume Balagueró’s 2022 film Venus, which he wrote with Fernando Navarro. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Venus”

October Horrorshow: The House by the Cemetery, aka Quella villa accanto al cimitero

Leave it to Lucio Fulci to make a haunted house flick with lots of gore. Whereas countless filmmakers have used spooky ghosts as an unseen menace, to varying effect, Fulci decided to stick with what he knew, and he knew gore. He also knew convoluted storytelling.

From 1981, Fulci directed The House by the Cemetery from a screenplay by Dardano Sacchetti, Giorgio Mariuzzo, and Fulci, himself. The movie follows the Boyle family: college professor Dr. Norman Boyle (Paolo Malco); his wife, Lucy (Catriona MacColl); and their young son, Bob (Giovanni Frezza). Fair warning to all potential viewers — Bob is a chore. Missile Test has made it clear how we feel about the talents of child actors, but in this instance, Frezza gets a pass. It’s the awful dubbing that does the most to make Bob one of the more annoying movie children one will see. Anyway… Continue reading “October Horrorshow: The House by the Cemetery, aka Quella villa accanto al cimitero”

October Horrorshow: Homicycle

I’m pretty sure Brett Kelly isn’t the best auteur from Ottawa, Ontario, but he’s certainly the most prolific. As of this writing, Kelly has directed thirty-nine features, with a smattering of shorts thrown in for good measure. Alas, this profligacy has not equalled quality, but that’s never been a concern at Shitty Movie Sundays.

Three Kelly-helmed pictures were released in the year 2014. According to IMDb, Homicycle is the best of them, with a 2.7 rating out of 10. Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t even have a rating. Yikes. So, what gives?

Homicycle is bottom feeding filmmaking. It’s the kind of flick that regional filmmakers crank out for a few thousand bucks and hopefully, maybe, find distribution with some garage-based company. In this case, Camp Motion Pictures here in the States. These films won’t make anyone involved rich, but they just might cover the mortgage until the next financial quarter, when it becomes time to make another. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Homicycle”

October Horrorshow: Curse of the Cannibal Confederates, aka The Curse of the Screaming Dead

Just because a movie is objectively bad, does not mean that it is unwatchable. That’s a maxim here at Missile Test, but it cannot be denied that, often, there is correlation between the two. A case in point is Curse of the Cannibal Confederates. It’s an objectively bad film in just about every way, and it’s tough to sit through. By the time this review is over, it will have settled into the leprous nether reaches of the Shitty Movie Sundays Watchability Index, but it does have a few of those sublime moments of true unselfconscious ineptitude that mutants live for.

Curse is one of many films that Troma picked up for release a number of years after it first saw daylight. The film was originally released in 1982 with the title The Curse of the Screaming Dead. After Troma picked it up in 1987 they gave it a new name and did some light editing to the title sequence. This version, a low-quality VHS transfer, is what I saw. But, should one feel the need to see this flick in an HD scan that removes most of the mud and restores the original cut, Vinegar Syndrome released it on Blu-ray in 2023. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Curse of the Cannibal Confederates, aka The Curse of the Screaming Dead”

October Horrorshow: Black Cab (2024)

Who doesn’t like Nick Frost? He’s a big, cuddly teddy bear. Which makes him an ideal antagonist in a horror flick like Black Cab, where Frost’s unnamed cab driver turns from being a part of society’s background, into a troubled couple’s torment.

From this past year, Black Cab comes to viewers via director Bruce Goodison, from a screenplay by David Michael Emerson. Frost and Virginia Gilbert are credited with additional dialogue.

Synnøve Karlsen plays Anne, a twenty-something urbanite who is engaged to Patrick (Luke Norris), a philandering shithead whom audiences will despise even before they pick up on the duo’s dynamic. After a dinner with another couple that runs well into the night, Anne and Patrick hail a cab and Nick Frost pulls up in his clanking, sputtering, stinking, diesel-powered UK black cab. The couple begin arguing in the car over whether or not they are still engaged, and whether or not Patrick is moving back in with Anne, when Frost mentions that he recognizes Anne from an earlier fare. He picked her up outside the maternity ward at a local hospital. Anne’s pregnancy is news to Patrick, who responds by being even more of a dick. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Black Cab (2024)”

Shitty Movie Sundays: The Psychotronic Man

The Psychotronic Man, from 1979, isn’t a standout 20th century b-movie, but it is a bizarre little piece of regional cinema. If the internet is to be believed, it also lent its title to Michael J. Weldon’s Psychotronic Video magazine, which, from 1980 to 2006, covered pretty much the same kind of material that is this site’s bread and butter. Psychotronic Video is long gone, but public appreciation of the kinds of films we mutants like is as strong as it has ever been, if the proliferation of streaming services offering up the stuff is any indication.

Directed by Jack M. Sell, from a screenplay by Sell, Phil Lanier, and Peter Spelson, The Psychotronic Man follows Spelson (who also produced) as Rocky Fosco, a Chicago barber who begins to manifest destructive psychic powers.

It all begins when Rocky is feeling crabby after a day of cutting hair, and decides he needs to take a drive to blow off some steam. Off to rural Illinois we go, as Rocky, and Sell, take viewers on a runtime padding sequence of drinking, driving, and helicopter shots. Rocky’s method of blowing off steam is to keep driving and pouring whiskey down his throat until he gets sleepy and has to pull over to the side of the road and pass out. Man, the ’70s were wild. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: The Psychotronic Man”

October Horrorshow: In a Violent Nature

At some point, filmmaker Chris Nash had a revelation. Maybe it was in those moments right before sleep takes hold, when the head carnival, against all sense, is at its most raucous. Maybe it happened while watching another movie, or when his mind was drifting away from a banal or uncomfortable conversation. Whenever it was and whatever the situation, Nash must have thought, “What if a Friday the 13th movie were told from Jason’s perspective?”

That simple idea is what drives In a Violent Nature, from earlier this year. At its core it is a classic 1980s slasher flick, but it’s boiled down until there is nothing left but bright white bones. The movie follows Johnny (Ry Barrett), the Jason Voorhees analogue, as he stomps through the woods and kills people. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: In a Violent Nature”