Cocksuckers Ball: The Stolen Pick

President Trump has nominated Neil Gorsuch to be the next Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. This event is unique and unprecedented in American history, but one can say that about most anything that comes out of the Oval Office these days. However, that has barely anything to do with Trump. Rather, it was the Republican Party, specifically those in the Senate, that brought this travesty of American government to fruition. Continue readingCocksuckers Ball: The Stolen Pick”

Missile Test Predicts! The 2016 Results

Holy fuck, America. We did it. We actually voted into the Oval Office a man who didn’t know, until he met with President Obama last week, that all the staffers in the West Wing are Democrats and will have to be replaced. We voted into office a man who hired, as his chief strategist, a white nationalist propagandist. We voted into office a man who, during the campaign, could be relied upon to disqualify himself from said office at least once a week, either through word or deed. But most importantly, America’s voting public went with most of my 2016 election gambling picks, thereby ensuring my Loyal Seven readers, who faithfully follow my advice, early and prosperous retirements. The results are below. My picks are first, with the winner in bold. Continue reading “Missile Test Predicts! The 2016 Results”

Missile Test Predicts! 2016 Degenerate Gambler Edition

The Oval Office Thunderdome desk hasn’t been all that busy this election cycle, but that certainly isn’t because of a lack of subject matter. This election has been among the most anguished in all of American history. Much of the electorate is in disbelief that someone with as many disqualifications for public office still has a shot at winning the Oval Office. Continue reading “Missile Test Predicts! 2016 Degenerate Gambler Edition”

Cocksuckers Ball: Elections Have Consequences

Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States Antonin Scalia is dead. When the San Antonio Express-News broke the story of Scalia’s death this past Saturday, it was met with a certain amount of macabre glee only by those on the left who could afford to be seen celebrating. That is, those whose greatest contributions to the debate are tweets or comments on reddit. Most policymakers and pundits praised Scalia’s intellect and keen legal mind, while expressing sympathy for his family. It was an appropriate and typical set of reactions from the politicians who represent liberal America. Continue readingCocksuckers Ball: Elections Have Consequences”

Cocksuckers Ball: Finally, Some Good News

The Senate has gone nuclear. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Today, the Senate voted 52-48 to no longer allow filibusters to block the nominations of cabinet nominees and federal judges (though not Supreme Court Justices). A simple majority rules vote, this has been referred to as the ‘nuclear option’ because political rhetoric is a broken mess. But, using the option is very disruptive. As the New York Times put it, this vote represents “the most fundamental shift in the way the Senate functions in more than a generation.” Continue readingCocksuckers Ball: Finally, Some Good News”

Cocksuckers Ball: Do These Assholes Even Believe in Running the Country?

What I can’t do is force Congress to do the right thing...The American people may have the capacity to do that.

— President Obama, March 1, 2013

It’s the beginning of March, barely a month and a half into President Obama’s second term, and it appears serious governance is done for the next two years. The Washington Post reported this past Sunday that the president, confronted once again by an obstructionist Congress, is already looking ahead to 2014, hoping that the Democrats can capture the House in the midterm elections. Continue readingCocksuckers Ball: Do These Assholes Even Believe in Running the Country?”

Cocksuckers Ball: Obama Picks a Fight

Last week, President Obama made a bold move. By making four recess appointments, including naming Richard Corbray to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, while the Senate is still in pro forma session, Obama is directly challenging legislative shenanigans designed exclusively for obstructionism. Continue readingCocksuckers Ball: Obama Picks a Fight”

Cocksuckers Ball: Crottes D’Éléphants

The House of Representatives voted today, largely along party lines, to repeal the healthcare law passed last year. It was a symbolic gesture, as the Democratic-controlled Senate will not take up the bill, nor would President Obama sign it. The vote today was the culmination of two years of rhetoric and campaign promises, and with any luck, that is as far as things will go. But the GOP does have a strategy beyond meaningless parliamentary showboating. They do genuinely want this bill to disappear, and while repeal is out of the question with the current alignment in Washington, starving the bill to death by denying it funds is not. Continue readingCocksuckers Ball: Crottes D’Éléphants”