Tom Latham thinks that life could only get better if he just kills himself. Turns out, he’s right! Tom (Nicky Henson) isn’t suffering from depression, nor is he a deluded youth who is incapable of processing the permanence of death. He’s the leader of an outlaw biker gang called The Living Dead. They get their kicks by driving mildly quickly on the roads of rural England and occasionally tipping over vendor’s carts at the local shopping center. How dreadfully frightful. But Tom has an idea that can make his little band of nihilists even more of a public nuisance. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Psychomania, aka The Death Wheelers”
A review of the last week in the Turdpol Kakistocracy:
- May 9, Tuesday: President Trump fires FBI Director James Comey. The administration claims the firing is over the Director’s handling of the Hillary Clinton email investigation.
- May 10, Wednesday: Trump meets with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov and Russian Ambassador to the Unites States Sergey Kislyak in the Oval Office and reveals highly classified intel to the Russians.
- May 11, Thursday: Trump has an interview with NBC’s Lester Holt where he torpedoes all the spin over the Comey firing coming from his own aides, and reveals that he fired Comey because of the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia.
- May 12, Friday: Trump threatens Comey on Twitter, warning him not to leak anything to the press.
- May 15, Monday: News breaks about Trump revealing the classified intel to the Russians.
- May 16, Tuesday: Reporting reveals that James Comey kept memos of his interactions with President Trump. One memo describes a meeting in February where Trump asked Comey to end the investigation into disgraced National Security Advisor Michael Flynn’s ties to Russia.
- May 17, Wednesday: The Department of Justice appoints former FBI Director Robert Mueller as a special prosecutor to continue the investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia and possible obstruction of justice.
There’s more, but those are the broad strokes. Without a doubt, this past week has been the most damaging to Trump’s presidency in a long string of weeks with not a lot of good news. Continue reading “Trumpland Day 119: What a Week”
A million bucks must go a long way in Indonesia. That’s all the money writer/director Gareth Evans had on hand to film The Raid (released in the U.S. as The Raid: Redemption). Despite that tiny budget, Evans constructed a spectacular action flick, packed so full of visual and auditory stimuli that just watching it can make a viewer feel a little drained by the end. Continue reading “Empty Balcony: The Raid”
Irwin Allen had been producing motion pictures for over twenty years before he wandered into the disaster genre. He had a pair of genre-defining hits with The Poseidon Adventure and The Towering Inferno, but that was about all the water Allen could draw from that well before bringing up sludge. Next came The Swarm (dreadful), then Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (sickening), and finally When Time Ran Out. According to the internet, so it must be true, Paul Newman, star of When Time Ran Out, was once asked if he regretted making any film. He answered, “That volcano movie.” Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: When Time Ran Out, or, The Poseidon Volcano”
In the early 1970s, United Artists wanted Sean Connery back in the role of James Bond. Part of the deal that brought Connery back was UA agreeing to finance a pair of vanity projects for Connery, as long as the films didn’t cost much money. The Offence was the first of the pair, and the only one made. Continue reading “Empty Balcony: The Offence”
“U.S. forces in Afghanistan on Thursday struck an Islamic State tunnel complex in eastern Afghanistan with “the mother of all bombs,” the largest non-nuclear weapon ever used in combat by the U.S. military, Pentagon officials said.” — The Associated Press
“The Pentagon said U.S. military forces dropped the largest non-nuclear bomb in Afghanistan on Thursday.” — CNBC
Finally, a film for the energy drink generation.
What a putrid mess. In truth, the only reason I watched xXx at all is because I noticed that there were no films under ‘X’ in the Empty Balcony database. Every other letter in the English alphabet is represented, but in the many years I’ve been pounding out these reviews I’ve never once reviewed a film whose title began with the letter X. Now that I’ve seen xXx, I never have to watch it again. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: xXx”
Back in the wake of the election and the early days of the Turdpol Kakistocracy, a common theme in the media were warnings not to ‘normalize’ President Donald Trump. There is nothing normal or typical about a barely literate egomaniacal narcissist who lacks the temperament, consistency, gravitas, and intelligence to be president, yet who still finds himself the leader of the free world. The man is a huckster who has no competency for the job, and whose primary accomplishment as president so far has been stuffing the family coffers. Continue reading “Trumpland Day 84: Let’s Kill Some People!”
Other than being a shitty movie, Steel Dawn, the 1987 film from director Lance Hool and screenwriter Doug Lefler, defies normal categorization. At first glance, it’s just another cheesy post-apocalyptic sci-fi flick. Sure, it is that. But it’s also a kung fu flick, a samurai flick, and a spaghetti western. The filmmakers even managed to include a car chase, which is impressive considering the film takes place in a land with no electrical power or internal combustion engines. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Steel Dawn”
The United States Senate is headed towards an historic moment this week. The nomination of Judge Neil Gorsuch has gone to the floor for debate. As of right now, the Republicans do not have enough votes to impose cloture on the debate. It is expected that on Friday, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell will introduce a vote to change Senate rules to allow cloture to be passed with a simple majority, clearing the way for a floor vote on Gorsuch. By the time we all sit down for dinner on Friday evening, Gorsuch will be confirmed as the next Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, and the Senate will begin a new era — one that is leaving many pundits uneasy. Continue reading “Cocksuckers Ball: Harvest Time”