2017 Shitty Movie Sunday Awards

Last week I published my awards for the best in film that I saw from 2016. Now it’s time for the worst. This is the Shitty Movie Sunday Awards. Unlike with the Empty Balcony Awards, a film doesn’t have to be released in 2016 to be eligible. I just have to have seen it sometime in the past year. This is more loosely constructed than my more serious awards, as well. I take these Shitty Movie Sunday Awards about as seriously as shitty filmmakers take their movies. Hell, last year I never even got around to writing this companion to the Empty Balcony Awards. These are shitty awards for shitty movies. Continue reading “2017 Shitty Movie Sunday Awards”

Cocksuckers Ball: My Experience With Obamacare

The GOP released its long-awaited Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) replacement, and the general consensus is that the new bill stinks. It has been met with such a lack of enthusiasm from the right that there is a very real possibility that the American Health Care Act (AHCA), as it has been named, is dead on arrival. The Democrats will never support this bill, and a large portion of the Republicans in Congress will not do so either, as the bill is currently written. Continue readingCocksuckers Ball: My Experience With Obamacare”

The Fifth Annual Empty Balcony Awards for Movies I Saw From Last Year

The Oscars were last week. The Academy Awards are Hollywood pageantry at its most narcissistic, really. Perhaps there was a time when the awards show was good entertainment, or maybe, as the years go by, I’ve just become less interested in celebrities patting each other on the back for a job well done. Continue reading “The Fifth Annual Empty Balcony Awards for Movies I Saw From Last Year”

Empty Balcony: A Fistful of Dollars, aka Per un pugno di dollari

I’ve been picking on Italian movies of late over in the Shitty Movie Sundays department. I can’t help it. I discovered Enzo G. Castellari recently and that opened the floodgates. Just about every week I find myself searching streaming services for another glorious train wreck from that most interesting of old world countries. It’s cinema devoid of shame, unapologetically opportunistic, and, to borrow a phrase from Tom Wolfe, gloriously low rent. Today’s film is not a cheap Italian knockoff designed to trick audiences into buying a ticket, though. Today’s film is a classic, even though its producers did find themselves on the wrong end of a plagiarism lawsuit. Continue readingEmpty Balcony: A Fistful of Dollars, aka Per un pugno di dollari”

Trumpland Day 35: The Old Ways Are Dead

A Gallup poll released on Tuesday shows 21% of Americans have a favorable view of President Vladimir Putin of Russia. That’s up 8 points from a similar poll conducted in 2015. Most of that gain comes from Republican respondents. Among Republicans, Putin holds a 32% favorability rating, up from 12% in 2015, while among self-styled independents, 23% hold a favorable view, up from 12% in 2015. As would be expected, Putin’s favorability among Democrats has taken a hit since the 2015 survey, dropping from 15% to 10%. Continue readingTrumpland Day 35: The Old Ways Are Dead”

Shitty Movie Sundays: The Last Shark, aka Great White, aka L’ultimo squalo

Oh, Enzo G. Castellari, I’m so glad I found you. Shitty Movie Sundays has been further enlightened by your presence. Master of schlock, minister of exploitation, employer of flamethrowers, you can be counted among the progenitors of the mockbuster, those sad, cash grab excuses for films. It seems your only purpose as a filmmaker was to piggyback on the accomplishments of others, and prey upon an audience that didn’t realize what your producers were selling. Who would have thought that so many decades after your heyday, there would be people like me seeking out your films — not only to mock and deride, but to enjoy? Continue readingShitty Movie Sundays: The Last Shark, aka Great White, aka L’ultimo squalo”

Trumpland Day 28: It’s Time for President Pence

Four weeks. That’s how long we’ve been living under the Turdpol Kakistocracy. During that time, President Trump and his administration have proven that they are every bit as incompetent as many feared during the campaign. That’s actually good news. Owing to their collective embrace of tyrannical ideas, it’s encouraging to find out that the administration is incapable of implementing its most outrageous ideas without running foul of reality. But while their most evil tendencies are being tempered, that incompetency, and a possible malignant embrace of foreign influences, means that it’s time for Congress to end this farce. Continue readingTrumpland Day 28: It’s Time for President Pence”

Empty Balcony: Seven Days in May

This may have been the wrong film for me to watch while there’s a lunatic in the White House. Seven Days in May, the classic political thriller from 1964, tells the story of a Marine Colonel who stumbles upon a military plot to overthrow the president. It’s a gripping story, full of the opposing ideologies of the Atomic Age, and of deterministic governance. Its ideas are grand, and yet simple. The nuance of true politics is lacking, as are the skeletons in every president’s closet that make declarations about fairness and the will of the people awkward to hear, but that doesn’t matter. The story is amazing. Continue readingEmpty Balcony: Seven Days in May”

Trumpland Day 20: Rambling About the Turdpol

Let’s take some time to insult the President of the United States, for two reasons. One, this is the United States, and despite our many troubles as a nation, we have among the most robust free speech rights in the world. Two, Donald Trump has very thin skin. I don’t believe for a second that this little website will ever be read by Trump, but that won’t stop me from adding to the miasma of ridicule that Trump and his administration have earned. Continue readingTrumpland Day 20: Rambling About the Turdpol”