Hollywood legend is replete with stories of Sylvester Stallone’s efforts to get Rocky made. Part of the fable is that Sly wanted to direct, but eventually had to agree to hand directorial duties over to someone with experience. Sly kept the starring role and Rocky was his screenplay, but John G. Avildsen sat in the director’s chair. The resulting film won Best Picture and Director, plus Best Film Editing, at the Academy Awards. When it came time for a sequel, however, Sly used the capital he had earned to secure the directing gig in addition to starring and screenwriting roles, after Avildsen declined to direct due to a scheduling conflict. The result is a film identical in theme, plot, location, and stars to Rocky, but which is inferior in execution. Continue reading “Stallone Month: Rocky II, or, Mediocre Rocky”
Author: capcom
Stallone Month: Paradise Alley
Before there was Rocky, there was Paradise Alley. That might not make any sense, since Paradise Alley was made two years after Rocky. But back in the mid-1970s, when Sylvester Stallone made his pitch to Rocky producers Robert Chartoff and Irwin Winkler, this was the screenplay Sly wanted to make. They passed, but according to Sly, they said they would look at any other ideas he had. He went home that night and began to write Rocky. But there was still this screenplay out there, and after the success of Rocky, Sly was able to make this film. Not only did he write the screenplay, he also directed, starred, and, God help us, sang the opening theme song, Too Close to Paradise. All of this is very Orson Wellesian, in that it’s an overindulgent exercise in filmmaking, storytelling, and acting, but it doesn’t have the benefit of being any good. Continue reading “Stallone Month: Paradise Alley”
Stallone Month: Rocky
For no other reason than that I feel like it, I hereby declare this to be Sylvester Stallone Month here at Missile Test. For the next 31 days, this site will feature reviews of Sylvester Stallone films, from the early days of his career into the 2010s. I did this a few years back with Arnold Schwarzenegger because, not only do I like his films, I found myself fascinated with the progression of his career. I have a similar regard for Sly. Taken at face value, he’s just another action film star from the 1980s. But pay attention to the credits in his films, and one will find that he wrote and directed many of the films in which he appears. Sylvester Stallone is a filmmaker, and one who has been very successful in plotting his own course through Hollywood. Continue reading “Stallone Month: Rocky”
Cocksuckers Ball: Disaster Averted
When I went to bed last night, I was sure that when I awoke, Obamacare repeal would have passed in the Senate. After years of waiting, and months of legislative ineptitude, it looked like the Republicans were finally going to get their signature piece of legislation out the door. And what a piece it was. Continue reading “Cocksuckers Ball: Disaster Averted”
Trumpland Day 189: “Two Fish that Don’t Stink”
Well, Reince Priebus’s days as White House Chief of Staff are numbered. That became clear last week when President Trump hired Anthony Scaramucci to be the White House Communications Director, going around Priebus’s recommendations, and leading White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer to resign. But events last night and this morning have hammered that idea home. Continue reading “Trumpland Day 189: “Two Fish that Don’t Stink””
Shitty Movie Sundays: Death Wish 4: The Crackdown
When Attorney General Jeff Sessions pictures what life is like in American cities, I think he might be picturing the world of Death Wish 4: The Crackdown. From 1987, this movie plays as both nightmare and caricature of urban America in the 1980s. It’s a place where anyone, at any time, can be the victim of a brutal crime. It’s a good thing that Charles Bronson was still alive and kicking at the time, otherwise none of us would have made it out of that decade alive. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Death Wish 4: The Crackdown”
Oval Office Thunderdome: Stay in Your Lane, Famous People
Apparently, this website is no joke. Kid Rock is running for the Senate. I blame Donald Trump for this. One thing Trump’s election win proved is that the American people no longer require any relevant experience or qualifications to hold elective office. That’s probably been the case for a while, now, but it took Trump to prove to all the other celebrities in the country that they, too, can ride their popularity into a position of real power. And this is has the potential to be a huge problem. Continue reading “Oval Office Thunderdome: Stay in Your Lane, Famous People”
Shitty Movie Sundays: Battle Beyond the Stars
Roger Corman was absolutely shameless. There wasn’t an idea he wouldn’t steal, nor a corner he wouldn’t cut to save a buck, in any of the dozens of films in which he had a part. He is hailed as a pioneering and legendary filmmaker. He launched the careers of numerous, better filmmakers and is showered with credit for their talents. And he did all this, and more, while cranking out a relentless stream of awful films. Terrible, unwatchable, dreadful sins against the art of cinema. And sometimes, he managed to make a shitty movie that was worth a damn. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Battle Beyond the Stars”
Trumpland Day 173: Donnie Dumbass, Jr.
Last night the New York Times dropped a bomb on the Turdpol Kakistocracy. After a weekend where the Times reported that Donald Trump, Jr. met with Russian lawyers with Kremlin ties, reporting that Trump Jr. and his father both confirmed, it was further reported that Trump Jr. took the meeting with the understanding he would be receiving materials damaging to Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. Then last night the Times reported that before the meeting, Trump Jr. received an email about the meeting that claimed that the promised materials were coming from the Russian government, which was engaged in an effort to aid the campaign of Donald Trump. If these articles from the Times are accurate, then this is the proof of collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russian government to undermine American democracy we all knew was out there somewhere. Continue reading “Trumpland Day 173: Donnie Dumbass, Jr.”
Shitty Movie Sundays: The Raiders of Atlantis, aka The Atlantis Interceptors, aka I predatori di Atlantide
The Italian invasion continues here at Shitty Movie Sundays. I don’t know who is responsible for either buying or selling the rights to these dogs, but whoever it is, I would like to thank you. It would have been easy to let films like Escape from the Bronx, or today’s flick, The Raiders of Atlantis, fade into total obscurity. But someone, somewhere, signed a deal to make sure flicks like these continue to survive on internet streaming. Whether or not this person is a shitty film lover like myself or a rights holder gathering up pennies, I salute you. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: The Raiders of Atlantis, aka The Atlantis Interceptors, aka I predatori di Atlantide”