Schlock on such a grandiose scale as Raise the Titanic only comes about on rare occasions. As such, it should be treasured, albeit briefly, until the novelty wears off. Raise the Titanic not only tells the story of an attempt to salvage the famous shipwreck, it is also a Cold War tale of epic proportions, the outcome of which would determine the balance of power in the world. In the cargo hold of the sunken ship lies the only known supply of a rare mineral, byzanium, capable of powering a laser shield that can disable all nuclear missiles heading for the United States. I am not making any of this up. This was the plot of an actual movie. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Raise the Titanic”
Cocksuckers Ball: Crottes D’Éléphants
The House of Representatives voted today, largely along party lines, to repeal the healthcare law passed last year. It was a symbolic gesture, as the Democratic-controlled Senate will not take up the bill, nor would President Obama sign it. The vote today was the culmination of two years of rhetoric and campaign promises, and with any luck, that is as far as things will go. But the GOP does have a strategy beyond meaningless parliamentary showboating. They do genuinely want this bill to disappear, and while repeal is out of the question with the current alignment in Washington, starving the bill to death by denying it funds is not. Continue reading “Cocksuckers Ball: Crottes D’Éléphants”
The Empty Balcony: 2010
The year 2010 has come and gone, and with it, a milestone in the calendar of science fiction. First, a quick explanation. The calendar of science fiction is an informal mental tabulation I keep of events in fiction that took place in the future when the material was originally released. I keep note of plots and dates of noteworthy films, television series, and novels to see just how far away from reality the storytellers drifted once the actual year is reached. For example, Escape from New York, John Carpenter’s dystopian vision of Manhattan Island as a maximum security prison, took place in 1997. That year came and went, and while New York City didn’t have the greatest reputation in the world at the time, it did feature a steadily falling crime rate and no landmines on its bridges. In short, not a prison. Continue reading “The Empty Balcony: 2010″
This Only Makes Sense to New Yorkers
“Hey, can I get a swipe?”
“Sorry, unlimited.”
Cocksuckers Ball: The Filibuster
Nowhere in the Constitution does it specify that a vote needs to be taken in the Senate to impose cloture. Nowhere in the Constitution does it specify how many senators need to vote to impose cloture on a debate. Nowhere. Continue reading “Cocksuckers Ball: The Filibuster”
Cocksuckers Ball: Let Them Die
This afternoon, the Senate held a cloture vote on the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act, a $7.4 billion bill to provide healthcare to first responders and others sickened in New York by the 9/11 attacks. It failed, with the final tally at 57 votes for, 42 against. The vote was almost straight along party lines, with only one Democrat (Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, in a legislative maneuver that has no need of being explained here) voting against cloture. In the twisted world of the United States Senate, a fifteen-vote majority was not enough to end debate and send the bill to a floor vote. Yet another instance when the upper house of Congress shows just how broken it is. Continue reading “Cocksuckers Ball: Let Them Die”
Cocksuckers Ball: Jackasses Lose The House
It’s just past 9:30 PM here on the east coast, and both NBC and Fox are calling the House of Representatives for the Republicans. Polls are still open on the west coast, and hundreds of races have yet to be decided, but the counts which are in, combined with exit polling, have been enough for two networks to call it. Predicting the House for the GOP isn’t a reach, however. All indications for months have pointed to a GOP takeover of the House as a foregone conclusion. No surprises from the exit polling like in 2004. Continue reading “Cocksuckers Ball: Jackasses Lose The House”
Adventures in Voting
New York City is trying something new today. After an initial rollout in the primaries, an optical scan voting system has replaced the bulky lever machines used for decades. How well has this transition to newer technology gone? Last week the head of the city’s Board of Elections was fired because of problems with the new system during the primaries. Continue reading “Adventures in Voting”
October Horrorshow: Halloween II
Halloween has finally arrived. Across the country the ghouls and goblins are out in force, and scary movies are lighting up the airwaves. We’ve been celebrating here at Missile Test for the entire month of October with the second October Horrorshow, when the site is devoted to watching and reviewing horror films. There’s been no rhyme or reason to it other than one common denominator: blood. Good films, bad films, entire franchises viewed out of order...so what? It doesn’t matter. It’s all in fun, as long as there’s death and gore involved. To close out this year’s October Horrorshow, we present a review of Halloween II, the sequel to John Carpenter’s horror masterpiece from 1978. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Halloween II”
October Horrorshow: Diary of the Dead
The October Horrorshow rolls on here at Missile Test, when we devote the entire month of October to watching and reviewing horror films. The good, the bad, and the putrid all have a viewing. With this review we wrap up the run of zombie films made by George A. Romero. Sure, we’ve been reviewing them out of order, but it doesn’t really matter.
Diary of the Dead, from 2007, is Romero’s followup to Land of the Dead. For whatever reason, Romero regressed when it came to his budget with this film. Land of the Dead wasn’t exactly a blockbuster production, but it did recoup its $15 million budget three times over, yet Diary of the Dead was made with the paltry amount of $2 million. A cut in resources like this isn’t normally made by choice, but Romero did decide to make this an experimental film of sorts, so maybe it was on purpose.
Anyway, Diary of the Dead takes place on the eve of the zombie outbreak that began during Romero’s first zombie flick, Night of the Living Dead. With each of his Dead films, Romero has played fast and loose with the real world timeline when it comes to the zombie apocalypse, which is why the outbreak in his films occurs in the 1960s, ’70s, and 2000s. In that way, his story of the outbreak is timeless. Despite the intervening years between releases, all films take place within the same continuity. That’s only a flaw if one lets it be so. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Diary of the Dead”