It’s raining again. Cold, dark rain. If I close my eyes, the sound of the drops slashing against the windows and spattering on the roof sounds just like a shower of blood. For this is October, when innocent thoughts turn to dreadful deeds, when the creaking of an old house at night is nothing less than the sinister wanderings of evil spirits, and when an innocent trip in the wilderness becomes a fight for one’s life. October is the month of Halloween, and to celebrate, Missile Test is dedicating the entire month to watching and reviewing horror films. Speaking of blood, today’s review is of a film that has plenty to spare. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Dead Alive, aka Braindead”
Tag: Zombie Flick
October Horrorshow: Fido
Vampire bats fill the night sky, deranged slashers lurk in the woods, werewolves bay at the moon, and the undead walk the earth in search of human flesh. It must be October, when imaginations turn to Halloween, and Missile Test celebrates with the October Horrorshow, dedicating the entire month to watching and reviewing horror films. The good, the bad, and the putrid. If there’s blood, there’s always a reason to watch. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Fido”
October Horrorshow: Survival of the Dead
It’s October, time once again for the October Horrorshow here at Missile Test. Today’s film is an epic flop from last year, Survival of the Dead, written and directed by horror auteur George A. Romero. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Survival of the Dead”
October Horrorshow: The Return of the Living Dead
The October Horrorshow continues on Missile Test, when we devote the entire month of October to watching and reviewing horror films. Today’s entry is tongue-in-cheek cult zombie classic The Return of the Living Dead, written and directed by Dan O’Bannon, from a novel by John A. Russo, co-creator of Night of the Living Dead. In its own way, Return is a sequel to Night of the Living Dead, although that film’s director, George Romero, had no involvement, and had already directed his own sequels to his legendary zombie progenitor. How this came about was the result of legal wrangling between Romero and Russo. Details aside, they had a falling out, and the original film spawned competing strings of sequels and continuity that continues to this day. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: The Return of the Living Dead”
October Horrorshow: Dawn of the Dead
It’s October once again. The leaves are changing, the humidity is low, and the air is full of the smell of blood. That’s right, October is the month of Halloween, and also when film buffs the world over celebrate the greatest genre of film — horror. Missile Test has joined in the celebration, dedicating the entire month of October to watching and reviewing horror films. The good. The bad. The putrid. There’s no rhyme or reason here. If it bleeds, it leads. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Dawn of the Dead”
October Horrorshow: Slither
October. If it weren’t for Halloween, October would be an intolerable month. Last week, New York City was sunny and the temperature was in the 80s. When in the apartment, I’d have all the windows open, breathing fresh air, wearing nothing heavier than a t-shirt. Today, as I write this, it is 54 and raining. It’s a cold rain, too, matched in ugliness during the day only by the grey skies that spawned it. And at night, it’s a barrier, something to keep a person locked away indoors. No windows open today. They’re shut tight, and a cotton fleece has replaced the t-shirt. In a matter of days the life has been sucked out of this city. Everything feels like it’s dying. But, that’s autumn. Thank goodness for horror films. Because it’s time once again for the October Horrorshow, when Missile Test chases away the doldrums of the changing seasons by watching and reviewing horror films. The good, the bad, and the putrid. It doesn’t matter. As long as it has blood, it’s better than dealing with fall. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Slither”
October Horrorshow: Dance of the Dead
It’s October, which means it’s time for the October Horrorshow, when Missile Test devotes the entire month to watching and reviewing horror films. All are welcome: the good, the bad, and the putrid. Today’s review is of the zombie comedy Dance of the Dead, written by Joe Ballarini and directed by Gregg Bishop, a pair of relative unknowns in the movie world. The only people even more anonymous than those who made Dance of the Dead are the actors and actresses who starred in it. But if there were such a thing as a little movie that could, Dance of the Dead up and did. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Dance of the Dead”
October Horrorshow: House of the Dead
There are two things every person should know before viewing House of the Dead. One: the film is based on a video game. Two: the film is directed by Uwe Boll, who is the object of an online petition calling for his retirement from filmmaking. At one time, Boll vowed to adhere to its conditions if the petition reached one million signatures. Of course, no one forces the public to watch his films. But it is an indication of the type of vitriol Boll engenders.
House of the Dead, without any sort of qualification and without my devoting any amount of unnecessary time in analyzing it, is one of the worst films I have ever seen. It represents just about everything that could go wrong with a film, horror or otherwise. The acting is bad, the screenplay is atrocious, and the directing is just awful. That’s 3 for 3. I’m digging, but the only redeeming quality I can find in House of the Dead is that it was filmed in color.
So what is the film about? It’s about an hour and a half long. Your life is too valuable to waste watching this crap. Stay away. You’ve been warned.
House of the Dead is far worse than Alien: Resurrection.
October Horrorshow: Night of the Living Dead
October has arrived. The leaves are changing, the air is cool and crisp after a brutal summer, and blood is in the air. October is the best time of the year to watch horror films, for obvious reasons. With that in mind, it is time, once again, for the October Horrorshow, when Missile Test devotes the entire month to watching and reviewing horror films. The good, the bad, the putrid, it doesn’t matter. Missile Test never met a movie it wouldn’t watch, for at least fifteen minutes, anyway. But that’s not a problem today, for today’s review is of the horror classic Night of the Living Dead, from iconic filmmaker George Romero.
Before watching for this review, I hadn’t seen Night of the Living Dead since I was a teenager, possibly even as long as twenty years ago. It didn’t scare me then, and it doesn’t scare me now, but that doesn’t mean Night of the Living Dead is a bland horror film. It just means that it came from a different era. It is only after being long inured to anything less than mercilessly graphic horror that old horror films lose some punch. Luckily for the viewer, Night of the Living Dead isn’t all scares. It’s a well-crafted film, still very taut throughout, and well worth the watch. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Night of the Living Dead”
October Horrorshow: Land of the Dead
Cracked.com recently featured an article about surviving a zombie apocalypse. It concluded that all we know and all we’ve learned about surviving from zombie horror films is wrong. Tactics such as raiding the local gun store and fleeing from cities have become so imprinted on our psyches, Cracked argues, that everyone will have the same ideas, and those ideas will serve to create nothing but the world’s largest smorgasbord for the undead. They have a point. Well, they would, if the danger of a zombie apocalypse were real. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Land of the Dead”