I’m heartened by the savviness shown by the audience members during a showing of Olympus Has Fallen this weekend. This was a crowd that was having none of director Antoine Fuqua’s shenanigans. It was clear from the moment the first commercials hit the airwaves that this film would be utter nonsense. It appeared that most of the people in the theater came with the knowledge they would be watching a total piece of shit, and they didn’t care. They were there for the shitty, for the schadenfreude, and for all the other reasons that bad movies entertain us. They were laughing and groaning in all the right places. It was my kind of crowd. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Olympus Has Fallen”
The Iraq War
Ten years ago today the American military began its invasion of Iraq. Ten years on the war still incenses. Politics today is in the grip of hyper-partisanship. The GOP is blatantly obstructionist, the Democrats flailing as they try to play small ball with legislation and the economy. The rancor in Washington and in the media is poisonous. Our leaders are growing increasingly cloistered in that world of theirs, and seem either blissfully unaware of the damage they’re doing to the country, or, worse, unconcerned. It’s a disheartening time. But, I would rather see a broken government than the one that so efficiently led us into war in Iraq. Continue reading “The Iraq War”
The Empty Balcony: Total Recall (2012)
It’s no secret. Hollywood loves remakes. They love squeezing new cash out of old ideas. And why not? We’re a country that embraces the familiar. We find comfort in it. It’s this tendency of the public to seek out what it already knows that makes Applebee’s and the Olive Garden successful properties in Times Square. Who the hell would come all the way to New York City only to eat the same food they can get in Boise? Americans, that’s who. Continue reading “The Empty Balcony: Total Recall (2012)”
Shitty Movie Ideas: Tossing Pie
On the heels of last year’s surprise hit comedy, Out of This World, starring Pauly Shore and Rob Schneider, I’ve been tasked by studio execs to think up another buddy comedy featuring this dynamic duo. They want another smash hit, another moneymaker, something they can plop down a cool 15 million bucks to produce and just rake in the moolah. I don’t know about 15 million bucks. Last year we got Pauly and Rob for scale and a couple free hot dogs. Now that they’re back on top, they may want more cash. But, that’s not my problem. I’m the idea man. I have problems of my own. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Ideas: Tossing Pie”
Shitty Movie Sundays: Red Dawn (2012)
It’s been awhile, but Shitty Movie Sundays returns for the first time since last Halloween. What a doozy we have today. Continue reading “Shitty Movie Sundays: Red Dawn (2012)”
Cocksuckers Ball: Do These Assholes Even Believe in Running the Country?
What I can’t do is force Congress to do the right thing...The American people may have the capacity to do that.
— President Obama, March 1, 2013
It’s the beginning of March, barely a month and a half into President Obama’s second term, and it appears serious governance is done for the next two years. The Washington Post reported this past Sunday that the president, confronted once again by an obstructionist Congress, is already looking ahead to 2014, hoping that the Democrats can capture the House in the midterm elections. Continue reading “Cocksuckers Ball: Do These Assholes Even Believe in Running the Country?”
The Empty Balcony: Becket & The Lion in Winter
In 1998 Peter O’Toole played Dr. Timothy Flyte in Phantoms alongside Ben Affleck, Liev Schreiber and Rose McGowan. I love it when fine actors slum it. One can read just how closely their patience is being tested on their faces. Oh? Filming my part is going to stretch longer than a week? My apologies, but I must be on a flight back to England by Friday. What’s that? You have more money? I would be delighted to stay! Continue reading “The Empty Balcony: Becket & The Lion in Winter”
The Empty Balcony Awards
The Academy Awards were held last night. I hadn’t been paying much attention to the lead-up, but the past week it’s been unavoidable. Every time I turned on ABC they were pimping the show, whether it be during commercials or during the evening news. I was absorbing pop culture by osmosis. It wasn’t until yesterday morning, however, when George Will of all people gave his Oscar pick on This Week, that I realized my cinematic experience was a bit different than most folks. Of the fourteen films nominated in the top categories, best picture, director, screenplay, and acting, I have seen none of them. Not one. Continue reading “The Empty Balcony Awards”
The Empty Balcony: Skyfall
I never thought I would have to write this, but, spoilers ahead. For the first time, I’m writing a review of a film that’s more for readers who have already seen it. Continue reading “The Empty Balcony: Skyfall”
Oval Office Thunderdome: Electoral Shenanigans
This could have been a headline on November 7th, 2012:
Romney Wins the Presidency 286-252 Despite Losing Popular Vote
How is this possible? It’s easy when politicians are willing to engage in trickery. Let me explain. Last week, the Virginia Senate made news by advancing Senate Bill 723. The bill is aimed at changing the way the state allocates its electoral votes in presidential elections. Currently, the winner of the popular vote statewide wins all of the state’s 13 electoral votes. In the new legislation, electoral votes would be allocated based on who won the popular vote in each congressional district, with the state’s two at large votes (based on U.S. Senate membership) allocated to the candidate who won the most congressional districts. Continue reading “Oval Office Thunderdome: Electoral Shenanigans”