Here we are again. More children and teachers have been slaughtered in an American school. The death toll was horrific enough this time to get the gun control debate raging once more. At first blush, that sounds cynical, but remember that the shooting last week in Parkland, Florida, which claimed 17 lives, came less than a month after a 15-year-old student in Marshall County, Kentucky shot 16 people in the lobby of his high school, but only two of them died. That story was barely a blip in the news. Continue reading “Insane and Stupid”
Cosmos: War of the Planets, aka Anno zero – Guerra nello spazio, or, Shit Trek
Should one not wish to be burdened by a sensible, interconnected plot, or by special effects that pass a minimum standard of acceptability, then has Missile Test got the movie for you. Cosmos: War of the Planets, also known by many other names, is one of the shittiest films to grace this site in a litany of shitty films. Continue reading “Cosmos: War of the Planets, aka Anno zero – Guerra nello spazio, or, Shit Trek”
The Best People
The scandals surrounding the Turdpol Kakistocracy continue to mount every single day. In fact, there hasn’t been a moment in this scoundrel’s presidency when there haven’t been questions about its conduct swirling around. This week it’s a scandal over when the White House knew that one of its high-level employees was a wife beater who was vulnerable to blackmail, and an old (by that, I mean mere weeks) scandal resurfaced about hush money paid to a porn actress. Continue reading “The Best People”
Wind River, or, Longmire: The Movie
Every year Hollywood releases a handful of thrillers that are well-made, good entertainment, but are fairly anonymous. They fill a market for solid mysteries. They can’t scratch the primal itch that makes big time action flicks so reliable at the box office, but they have the benefit of treating their audience like adults, which is nice. Wind River is one of those films. Continue reading “Wind River, or, Longmire: The Movie”
Are We Sure the Election Wasn’t Rigged?
In reporting yesterday from NBC News, head of cybersecurity at the Department of Homeland Security, Jeanette Manfra, said, “We saw a targeting of 21 states and an exceptionally small number of them were successfully penetrated.” This comes five months after Homeland Security notified those 21 states that Russian government hackers had been targeting them, and a full 17 months after NBC News reported attempted hacking. So far, only Illinois has confirmed that the hackers had been able to gain access to its systems. Continue reading “Are We Sure the Election Wasn’t Rigged?”
Geostorm
What a putrid mess of a movie. Geostorm is an action thriller of grand scale, yet dumbed down in an attempt to give it mass appeal. It’s a film full of the promise of spectacle, without a viewer ever having to worry if any of it makes sense. Continue reading “Geostorm”
War for the Planet of the Apes
This film is excruciatingly inane, and at the same time an achievement. It is a story of stark moral black and whites, the contrast so palpable that it could blind were one to stare at it for too long. It is an epic that will take up 140 minutes of a viewer’s time, but it is also a flat desert plain stretching to the horizon, the only hint of depth merely a mirage. Continue reading “War for the Planet of the Apes”
Strike Commando
Who wants to watch some bottom-feeding trash? I do! And we all should. Films like Strike Commando, the 1987 shitfest from Italian filmmaker Bruno Mattei, make serious film and art house fodder all the better. How would we be able to gauge excellence were it not for films like Strike Commando giving us a baseline of inferiority? Continue reading “Strike Commando”
The Sky is Falling
This past Sunday, residents of Hawaii were sent an emergency alert to their phones. It stated, “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” Understandably, this caused some consternation among the Hawaiian population. It was a false alarm, but a message stating so wasn’t sent out until 38 minutes after the initial alert. So, for over half an hour, a whole lot of people in our 50th state thought that they were going to die in nuclear fire. How very retro. Continue reading “The Sky is Falling”
Atomic Blonde
Atomic Blonde is an aggressive title for a movie. By that, I mean it’s the type of title that can make a viewer immediately prejudge a film. I’m guilty of that. My expectations going into this film were that, at best, it would be a mildly entertaining, yet brainless, action flick. I was hoping for a shitty film, but was prepared for a just a plain old bad one. But, just as one shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, the same applies to film titles. Continue reading “Atomic Blonde”