Vampire bats fill the night sky, deranged slashers lurk in the woods, werewolves bay at the moon, and the undead walk the earth in search of human flesh. It must be October, when imaginations turn to Halloween, and Missile Test celebrates with the October Horrorshow, dedicating the entire month to watching and reviewing horror films. The good, the bad, and the putrid. If there’s blood, there’s always a reason to watch. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Fido”
Tag: Bloody Flick
October Horrorshow: Maniac Cop 2
It’s October, which means it’s also time for the October Horrorshow. The entire month will be devoted to watching and reviewing horror films here at Missile Test, and there is no rhyme or reason to it. The good. The bad. The putrid. If it’s got blood, it will get a viewing. Today’s film is Maniac Cop 2, from way back in 1990. Why Maniac Cop 2? Why not reserve one of the precious 31 days of October for something worthwhile, like The Exorcist or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or even the first Maniac Cop, of which you will find no review (so far) on this site? The answer is simple. Last night I was trolling the tubes looking for something to watch, and I saw Hulu had added Maniac Cop 2 to its lineup. Having never met a movie I wouldn’t watch, I watched it. I can’t believe I watched the whole thing. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Maniac Cop 2″
October Horrorshow: Survival of the Dead
It’s October, time once again for the October Horrorshow here at Missile Test. Today’s film is an epic flop from last year, Survival of the Dead, written and directed by horror auteur George A. Romero. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Survival of the Dead”
October Horrorshow: The Return of the Living Dead
The October Horrorshow continues on Missile Test, when we devote the entire month of October to watching and reviewing horror films. Today’s entry is tongue-in-cheek cult zombie classic The Return of the Living Dead, written and directed by Dan O’Bannon, from a novel by John A. Russo, co-creator of Night of the Living Dead. In its own way, Return is a sequel to Night of the Living Dead, although that film’s director, George Romero, had no involvement, and had already directed his own sequels to his legendary zombie progenitor. How this came about was the result of legal wrangling between Romero and Russo. Details aside, they had a falling out, and the original film spawned competing strings of sequels and continuity that continues to this day. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: The Return of the Living Dead”
October Horrorshow: Dawn of the Dead
It’s October once again. The leaves are changing, the humidity is low, and the air is full of the smell of blood. That’s right, October is the month of Halloween, and also when film buffs the world over celebrate the greatest genre of film — horror. Missile Test has joined in the celebration, dedicating the entire month of October to watching and reviewing horror films. The good. The bad. The putrid. There’s no rhyme or reason here. If it bleeds, it leads. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Dawn of the Dead”
October Horrorshow: Re-Animator
Ah, October. The time of year when the leaves change from their electric, yet uniform, green into the vibrant oranges, reds, and yellows that typify the mind’s eye view of a New England landscape, one full of hills cut by a meandering river, the sky a wonderful azure dotted here and there with the softest of clouds. The air grows crisp and the days begin to grow noticeably shorter, but the oppression that is summer is left quickly behind, only a distant memory in the pleasantness of the changing season. It was the Reverend William Newell who once wrote:
Changing, fading, falling, flying,
From homes that gave them birth,
Autumn leaves, in beauty dying,
Seek the mother breast of earth.
Hmm. Makes one think, doesn’t it? I believe it was also Lewis Black who said, back in the far distant days of 1999, “Fall sucks!” Yes, Lewis, yes it does. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Re-Animator”
October Horrorshow: Slither
October. If it weren’t for Halloween, October would be an intolerable month. Last week, New York City was sunny and the temperature was in the 80s. When in the apartment, I’d have all the windows open, breathing fresh air, wearing nothing heavier than a t-shirt. Today, as I write this, it is 54 and raining. It’s a cold rain, too, matched in ugliness during the day only by the grey skies that spawned it. And at night, it’s a barrier, something to keep a person locked away indoors. No windows open today. They’re shut tight, and a cotton fleece has replaced the t-shirt. In a matter of days the life has been sucked out of this city. Everything feels like it’s dying. But, that’s autumn. Thank goodness for horror films. Because it’s time once again for the October Horrorshow, when Missile Test chases away the doldrums of the changing seasons by watching and reviewing horror films. The good, the bad, and the putrid. It doesn’t matter. As long as it has blood, it’s better than dealing with fall. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Slither”
October Horrorshow: Dance of the Dead
It’s October, which means it’s time for the October Horrorshow, when Missile Test devotes the entire month to watching and reviewing horror films. All are welcome: the good, the bad, and the putrid. Today’s review is of the zombie comedy Dance of the Dead, written by Joe Ballarini and directed by Gregg Bishop, a pair of relative unknowns in the movie world. The only people even more anonymous than those who made Dance of the Dead are the actors and actresses who starred in it. But if there were such a thing as a little movie that could, Dance of the Dead up and did. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Dance of the Dead”
October Horrorshow: Growth
The October Horrorshow is upon us once again, when Missile Test devotes the entire month of October to watching and reviewing horror films. The good, the bad, and the putrid are all represented. And, oh boy. This movie is a doozy, a humdinger, a lulu. Continue reading “October Horrorshow: Growth”
October Horrorshow: House of the Dead
There are two things every person should know before viewing House of the Dead. One: the film is based on a video game. Two: the film is directed by Uwe Boll, who is the object of an online petition calling for his retirement from filmmaking. At one time, Boll vowed to adhere to its conditions if the petition reached one million signatures. Of course, no one forces the public to watch his films. But it is an indication of the type of vitriol Boll engenders.
House of the Dead, without any sort of qualification and without my devoting any amount of unnecessary time in analyzing it, is one of the worst films I have ever seen. It represents just about everything that could go wrong with a film, horror or otherwise. The acting is bad, the screenplay is atrocious, and the directing is just awful. That’s 3 for 3. I’m digging, but the only redeeming quality I can find in House of the Dead is that it was filmed in color.
So what is the film about? It’s about an hour and a half long. Your life is too valuable to waste watching this crap. Stay away. You’ve been warned.
House of the Dead is far worse than Alien: Resurrection.