It’s been many years since The Sadist bumped Deep Blue Sea out of the top five of the SMS Watchability Index. It wasn’t a total package deal. Slotting The Sadist so high in the Index, indeed, the fact it made the Index at all, was due to the singular performance of one Arch Hall, Jr. as a psychotic spree killer. His squinty sneer, like squishing down the face of a chubby baby, combined with his delivery and his ersatz aggressive body language, was a treat of gangster flick-style exaggeration. He was like a Saturday Night Live version of James Cagney, only he wasn’t joking.
I was excited to find him starring in another film while I went trolling in the depths of the free streaming services. In Hall’s very first movie, shot in 1959 when he was sixteen or so, but not released until 1961, Hall plays Jack ‘Cruiser’ Bryan, the leader of a gang of teenage hotrod enthusiasts who make the money they pour into their cars by stripping, or chopping, automobiles. Hence the name of the film, The Choppers.
Directed by Leigh Jason and written by Arch Hall, Sr., The Choppers is a morality tale about America’s youth becoming lost to crime. That was the moral panic of the day.
Besides Hall, Jr., the cast includes Robert Paget as Torch, Burr Middleton as Snooper, Rex Holman as Flip, and Chuck Barnes as Ben…just Ben. No nickname, but he is the only one of the choppers who has a leather jacket.
The choppers, as told through narration, are not just thieves. They are victims of their backgrounds, each neglected by parents who could have derailed their sons’ criminal tendencies. Sure, okay. At least in choosing to tell rather than show, Leigh Jason and company kept this 
film to a swift 66 minutes of running time, and viewers don’t have to sit through five different scenes of backstory.
On their trail are local police lieutenant Frank Fleming (William Shaw) and instance investigator Tom Hart (Tom Brown), who has taken his secretary/paramour, Liz (Marianne Gaba), along. Liz accounts for the best scene in the movie. In a bit that echoes the famous scene from Basic Instinct, cops can’t stop looking at Liz when she crosses and uncrosses her legs. But, this is the 1950s version, so there’s nothing to see but a pair of knees. Liz is treated like a piece of meat all movie, but this was the most egregious instance, and the silliest.
But, what about the junior Hall? He gives a much more restrained performance in this flick than he did in The Sadist. There are some flashes here and there of a developing talent for overacting, but he’s still just a kid. As for the entire gang, they wallow in greaser cliché and slang. Cruiser calls someone a ‘square’ at one point. All that was missing was a ‘daddy-o’ or two, although I could have just missed it.
The brazen thievery continues until Liz breaks the case open, identifying the choppers, allowing Fleming and Hart to set up a sting. This final act is pretty wild. Before, the choppers had just been high school boys with an unhealthy obsession with cars. Despite all the damage, they hadn’t hurt anyone. Youth, however, often fails to weigh actions against consequences, and this flick gets bloody before the end credits. Two ways a writer can go with a morality play are redemption or punishment. Hall’s pop decided to go with punishment, and Leigh Jason handled it all like the most violent episode of My Three Sons ever filmed.
The Choppers is a rollicking b-flick from one of the best eras of shitty cinema. The characters are out of touch exaggerations, both the teens and the authority figures; the 1950’s clean cut ideals are pure fantasy; the acting is hilarious, in a laugh at and not with kind of way; and Ralph Nader was right. Cars back then really were death traps. The Choppers enters the Index at #181, displacing The Kidnapping of the President.